Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport in this modern age. Do you agree or disagree?

One of the popular sports among ages is boxing, in which an athlete uses a stuffed glove and hits a heavy item, usually a huge hard-stuffed bag. Nowadays many people argue that
this
activity
is not safe and must not be played as it leads to harmful consequences,
however
, I do not agree with that statement.
This
essay will discuss why boxing can be added to the sporty routine, as precautions can be taken and supervision can be
also
applied. A person can perform any risky
activity
in the least harmful manner by following its guidelines and precautions including boxing. It is acceptable to commence
such
an
activity
after reading about the necessary safety tools,
such
as gloves and teeth guards.
Moreover
, it is essential to be familiar with the hierarchy of exercises, as a player usually does not pursue a highly sophisticated move without mastering the prerequisite training. Doing these steps gradually can assist any average person to exercise boxing safely, and
as a result
makes it an appropriate sport. Another reason for allowing boxing these days is the presence of qualified trainers, who guide the trainee in applying the recommendations correctly. If a player
for instance
is not able to sufficiently perform a safety rule by doing a wrong body posture,
then
the experienced coach will fix his position. So people can do
this
activity
,
nevertheless
, they need mentorship at the beginning of
this
journey as some unwanted behaviours may happen but that does not prevent exercising it publicly. In conclusion,
while
some populations do not agree with playing boxing, I agree with it, because it can be played systematically with rules,
in addition
to the accessibility to many mentors who can guarantee safety.
Submitted by makahlehaseel on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable overall structure, however, transitional phrases and better paragraphing would enhance the logical flow and coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and all sentences align cohesively to support that topic.
task achievement
The task response could be improved by addressing the prompt more directly and offering a more formal argument with specific examples and evidence to support your point of view. Make sure to fully address all parts of the task and provide a clear opinion throughout your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • blood sport
  • physical injury
  • inappropriate
  • modern age
  • violent
  • serious injuries
  • civilized
  • dangerous
  • sporting activities
  • promoting health
  • well-being
  • encouraging violence
  • culture of aggression
  • harm
  • alternative forms
  • combat sports
  • safety
  • skill
  • banning
  • regulating
  • protect athletes
  • unnecessary harm
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