IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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leisure, liberty, and Public
transport
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as buses, trains, trams  In a developed country,
Pollution
Use synonyms
 and its effects, the Right to
travel
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,
traffic
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 in big cities, electric
cars
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 reducing
pollution
Use synonyms
, Parking problems. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that owning
cars
Use synonyms
 gives them leisure and liberty.
Thus
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,
people
Use synonyms
 buy more
cars
Use synonyms
 and vehicles for travelling.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly opine that developing infrastructure for improved public
transport
Use synonyms
 is the key to safe and secure
travel
Use synonyms
,
as well as
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 it helps reduce
traffic
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 and air
pollution
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 caused by vehicles. From my perspective, a developed country is one where individuals
travel
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 more by public
transport
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 rather than private vehicles. Alternatively,
People
Use synonyms
 can use
cars
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 for urgent or important commute purposes. Having fewer
cars
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 on the road not only helps in decreasing air
pollution
Use synonyms
 it
also
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 helps with
traffic
Use synonyms
 and parking issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, In the city of Bangalore,
traffic
Use synonyms
 is at its peak in some areas it takes
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 amount of time to
travel
Use synonyms
 from one place to another.
Thus
Linking Words
, Bangalore needs a better public
transport
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 facility to overcome the issue of
traffic
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 and parking problems. Personally speaking, improved public
transport
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 helps and provides individuals the right to
travel
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, which can be seen in countries like Germany, where
travel
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 is affordable and cheaper,
due to
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 the incredible and reliable
transport
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 facilities provided by the Government of Germany; it has helped the country to reduce
traffic
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
pollution
Use synonyms
 significantly. To cite an example, trains in Germany are interconnected, and they
travel
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 at an average speed of 350 km per hour.
Thus
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,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer public
transport
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 for faster and more trustworthy services. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having good public
transport
Use synonyms
 not only helps the citizens but
also
Linking Words
 helps in reducing the cost of
travel
Use synonyms
 and
pollution
Use synonyms
 at the same time.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinguishable paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion for better readability and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and transition phrases to enhance cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both views presented in the question before providing your own opinion to fully complete the task.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples to reinforce your points and make your essay more convincing.
Content
You've successfully provided a compelling argument in favor of developing public transportation infrastructure.
Content
Your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint and provides a strong closing statement to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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