People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? (Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.)

Over the past few years, the utilization of social media has been growing exponentially around the world. Some
people
believe that using correct from social media brings career development prospects,
while
some other
people
claim that hard-working is to determines their future work.
This
essay will
further
elaborate my views for
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
the impacts and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, Presence in online networking can clarify our view of the future of the job.
Furthermore
, sharing proper information by professional
people
and veterans can help inexperienced
people
with little information knowledge achieve career development. So huge and small companies can choose respectable staff on online platforms.
Therefore
, there is a considerable amount of worthy work situations for individuals who want to attain a good position.
For example
, each person can disseminate their own resume on employment networks and experiences on an online platform
such
as Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin which can for everyone will superb for improvement career.
On the other hand
, in social media, there is a great deal of incorrect information that individuals should research, if
this
data is true, it will trustworthy facts. Human Beings can fall into the trap of Cyberspace, so they compare other advanced individuals and
this
causes to loss of
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
and more stress, those who cannot achieve their prospects work and ambitions think themselves is unsuccessful and weak.
For instance
, sharing a great deal of incorrect facts and resumes on an online platform causes to companies lose trust in newbie recruitment.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but you need to present a clearer stance throughout the essay. Your position should be consistent and more clearly developed.
task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are directly relevant and supportive of your argument. The examples given are a bit generic and not effectively illustrating your points.
coherence cohesion
While there is a logical flow to your essay, the coherence could be improved by better paragraph transitions and clearer topic sentences that outline the content of the paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. The conclusion is the final impression you leave with the reader, make it count.
coherence cohesion
Expand and support your main points with detailed explanations or evidence. Avoid broad statements that are not clearly connected to the main argument of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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