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Band 6.5

Global warming is one the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the cause of global warming and what can govenment and individual take to tackle this issues?

#world #govenment
In
this
 digital era, many people are facing most of the serious issues,
such
 as life-threatening problems.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will focus on what are the causes of global warming and which actions can be taken to tackle these serious crises by authorities and individuals in worldwide areas.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 the global disaster, expanding urban areas, using chemicals in the cultivation of crops or food, deforestation, wildfires, greenhouse gas, burning fossil fuels and landfills
cause
 a lot of negative effects,
as well as
 pollution.
For instance
, ozone layer depletion which is a major
cause
 of climate change is the most noticeable
cause
.
In addition
, global crises can occur the irreversible environments in
this
 modern world.
On the other hand
, tackling these serious issues should be the first priority of governmental agencies and civilians to live longer and for human beings or future generations.
As a result
, most governments are encouraged to be more involved in using electronic vehicles, which are environmentally friendly, and utilising renewable energy,
instead
 of relying on gas cars in communities. In the same way, not only initiating campaigns of taking actions of planting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 recycling processes by industries should be performed
according to
 rules and regulations of global government. Because it can be created with benefits to generate purified oxygen or increase air quality.
Furthermore
, enlightening children or old people about the dangers of global warming plays a vital role when it comes to surviving or preventing global temperatures. In conclusion, there are a ton of causes which
cause
 global warming with disadvantages on
this
 planet.
Nonetheless
, everyone has the responsibility to solve these issues and to take care of Mother Nature.
Submitted by thurasoe1992.ac on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. The causes of global warming were mentioned, but not in enough detail, and while some government and individual actions were suggested, there was a lack of specificity. Refer to the question throughout your essay to firmly tie your points back to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Try to improve paragraph coherence by expanding on each idea and weaving them together more smoothly. Develop your ideas more thoroughly to strengthen the connection between them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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