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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people want to own items by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Is it a negative or positive impact?

#people #items #brands #impact
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In recent times, it is very common that many individuals prefer to buy
items
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 from popular
brands
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.
This
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 essay will first suggest that good
quality
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items
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 offered by these
brands
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 and the mindset of showing off
people
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 are the major reasons for
this
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 phenomenon, and
then
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 state the reasons why it has a negative impact on the lives of
people
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. To commence with, it is a general perception that famous
brands
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 always have better
quality
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 goods as compared with other
brands
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.
Consequently
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, many individuals choose to pay more money for them. Apart from that, it is believed that
items
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 purchased from reputed
brands
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last
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 longer and
as a result
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,
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they are preferred over other
brands
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.
Furthermore
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, a portion of
people
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 find happiness when
others
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 notice what they have, and owning something from famous
brands
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 easily gets the attention of
others
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.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 trend has numerous negative developments.
Although
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 the goods and services offered by these
brands
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 are better in terms of
quality
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, the prices of these
items
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 are very high as compared with the
items
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 from other
brands
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 having the same
quality
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 because famous
brands
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 always charge premium prices for their brand image.
Secondly
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, many individuals judge
others
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 based on which
brands
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 they have, and it creates a situation of discrimination.
For example
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, a number of children pressure their parents to buy from famous
brands
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 to avoid the fear of not getting accepted by other students. In conclusion, despite the good
quality
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items
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 provided by
the
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apply
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famous
brands
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, it is not always worth purchasing from these
brands
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, and
people
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 should
also
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 research other companies providing the same
items
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. Many
people
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 prefer buying from famous
brands
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 to show off, leading them to judge
others
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 based on which
brands
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others
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 own, and it creates the fear of getting rejected among children and youngsters.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. In your essay, while you have touched on the reasons and impacts, more depth in each point, especially with concrete examples, would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. Use a range of linking words and paragraphs to structure your argument effectively. While your essay has a logical structure, enhancing the flow of ideas and smooth transitions between paragraphs can further improve this score.
Supported Main Points
To better support your main points, incorporate more specific examples that illustrate your arguments. These examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the point you are making, adding depth and detail to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prestigious
  • luxury
  • prevalent
  • trendsetter
  • aspiration
  • exclusivity
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable
  • conspicuous consumption
  • status symbol
  • brand loyalty
  • consumerism
  • advertising
  • marketing
  • economic growth
  • wealth disparity
  • materialistic
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