IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#country #language #idea
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Nowadays,
people
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 have widened their steps and opportunities by getting new
life
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 in a foreign country. Learning a new
language
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 is a very common thing to do if someone wants to go abroad.
Although
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 some
people
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 do not sit well with
this
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 idea, learning a foreign
language
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 could lead to many advantages and opportunities. Going abroad to a foreign country with a foreign
language
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 could give different perspectives on
life
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 and improve cognitive
skills
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, which will be explained in
this
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 essay. 
To begin
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 with, many
people
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, especially students, want to go somewhere new with a foreign
language
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 to broaden their connections and have a new perspective on
life
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. Learning a new
language
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 will break the barrier between foreigners and local
people
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, which could create opportunities to build relationships and partnerships with them.
Moreover
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, speaking in a foreign
language
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 with locals could widen our perspective about specific topics, which will be an advantage for both sides.
Therefore
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, we can enrich our knowledge and gain new points of view without being held back by
language
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.  On top of that, learning a new
language
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 could improve memorization and cognitive
skills
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, which will serve many advantages. Many jobs require good memorization
skills
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, which could be helped by learning and
practicing
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practising
show examples
 a foreign
language
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 to improve it. Other than that,
practicing
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practising
show examples
 a foreign
language
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 could improve our cognitive and social
skills
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, which will be able to help us in
life
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.  Going abroad and speaking in a foreign
language
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 could improve our social and cognitive
skills
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, rather than getting problems with it. Problems could occur if languages are being used in the wrong way. To add up, it is a must to be wise in using
language
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 in every place in the world.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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task achievement
The essay could be improved by more effectively addressing the prompt and presenting a clearer argument. Make sure to directly address whether you agree or disagree with the idea that living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social and practical problems.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates adequate logical structure but could be enhanced by ensuring a clear progression of ideas throughout the paragraphs. Cohesion would benefit from stronger linking phrases and more explicit connections between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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