IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1960 and 2000

The graph below shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1960 and 2000
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of consumer goods in Europe from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
categorie's
Correct your spelling
categories's
 expenses
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a downward trend except clothing during the given period of time. In 1960, the highest amount of money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on food and it was around 34%.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure gradually dropped during the next 40 years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 14%.
Also
Linking Words
, leisure was the second highest money spender and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined to around 11% in 2000.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the period, both transport and fuel/energy spent around 10% and 5% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, both figures were plummeted to its lowest rate in 2000, approximately 5% and 3% respectively. In 1960,
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
expend
Wrong verb form
expended
show examples
 about 9% and
then
Linking Words
 showed the most notable development with a steady growth
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 given time period and reported a peak percentage in 2000, about 15%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare
  • Healthcare expenditure
  • Life expectancy
  • Medical technology
  • Government spending
  • Population health
  • Access to medical care
  • Healthcare policies
  • Economic climate
  • Inflation rates
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Public health
  • Quality of care
  • Preventive medicine
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Universal health coverage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: