Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Today, the debate over whether young people should follow their
passion
when selecting a
career
or adopt a more pragmatic
approach
is increasingly pertinent. In my opinion, it is a wiser option to select an occupation
that is
most likely to provide for the future. Proponents of pursuing one’s
passion
argue that
job
satisfaction is crucial for long-term
career
success. When young individuals choose careers based on their
interests
, they are likely to experience higher levels of motivation and commitment. Consider the case of Steve Jobs, who famously dropped out of college to pursue his interest in computing. His
passion
for technology led to the creation of Apple Inc., demonstrating how following one’s
passion
can lead to extraordinary achievements. As one grows older, jobs that align with personal
interests
can contribute to a more fulfilling life. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association revealed that individuals who work in fields they are passionate about report higher levels of
job
satisfaction and
overall
well-being compared to those in less satisfying roles. Critics of the
passion
-driven
approach
highlight that not all
interests
are financially viable or offer long-term stability.
For example
, a young person with a
passion
for arts may find it challenging to secure a stable income, especially in highly competitive fields.
In contrast
, pursuing a
career
in fields like engineering or medicine,
while
possibly less exciting to some, often provides greater
job
security and financial stability.
According to
the Bureau of Labor Statistics, careers in engineering are projected to grow substantially over the next decade, offering quality
job
opportunities and security.
Similarly
, a
passion
for environmental science might lead to additional qualifications in data analysis to increase employability and
career
prospects.
Therefore
, a pragmatic
approach
recognizes economic factors and the long-term viability of a chosen
career
path. In conclusion,
while
pursuing a
career
based on personal
passion
has its advantages, a realistic
approach
that considers market trends and financial stability better ensures long-term
career
success and security.
Therefore
, young people should prioritize practical considerations when choosing their careers, even if it means incorporating their
interests
in a more balanced manner.
Submitted by m.karbasi1370 on

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task achievement
The introduction sets the stage effectively, but it could tie the main views together more cohesively by summarizing them briefly upfront before stating your own opinion for a clearer roadmap.
coherence cohesion
You could enhance the structure by using more transitional phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand,' to guide the reader smoothly between points.
task achievement
While the examples are relevant and support your arguments well, they could be more evenly distributed. One additional example supporting the 'practical approach' viewpoint would provide more balance.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough discussion of both perspectives, addressing key points for each.
task achievement
A strong example with Steve Jobs supports the argument about following one's passion, making the argument compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow and structure, with well-organized paragraphs that focus on a central idea.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your stance clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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