There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that work has a vital role to play in one's
life
. Therefore
, some people harbour a belief that life
will become meaningless without succeeding in jobs, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. As people are prone to gaining a sense of accomplishment from jobs, I am inclined to stand with the statement that success in a career will make life
meaningful.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of the connection between jobs and life
meaning is that individuals need ambition for life
. Thus
, they should have goals to achieve , otherwise
, life
will turn out to be tedious when someone lives without purpose. For instance
, there are many elderly who feel depressed after retirement since they do not know what to do which even results in accelerated ageing. Hence
, work indeed influences one's life
to a certain degree.
At the other end of the spectrum, job achievements will raise one’s self-esteem when a person earns recognition from it. For example
, a teacher who engages in teaching and cares about students may be satisfied to see students’ improvement. Moreover
, when someone finds a job that he/she truly loves, the considerable change can be life
-long due to
the enhancement of self-values. Hence
, career success indeed will elevate the meaning of life
.
To sum up
, despite the fact that work is only a part of life
, its significant effects cannot be denied. The most important thing is how people gain personal growth and a sense of achievement from it. Therefore
, career progress is considerably associated with life
values.Submitted by s99104032 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good level of coherence, with logical sequencing of ideas and a clear overall progression. However, the connections between some of the main points and examples could be strengthened. Make sure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next by using a wider range of cohesive devices and more nuanced topic sentences that link back to the thesis more explicitly.
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