There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that work has a vital role to play in one's
life
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, some people harbour a belief that Linking Words
life
will become meaningless without succeeding in jobs, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. As people are prone to gaining a sense of accomplishment from jobs, I am inclined to stand with the statement that success in a career will make Use synonyms
life
meaningful.
Use synonyms
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of the connection between jobs and Linking Words
life
meaning is that individuals need ambition for Use synonyms
life
. Use synonyms
Thus
, they should have goals to achieve , Linking Words
otherwise
, Linking Words
life
will turn out to be tedious when someone lives without purpose. Use synonyms
For instance
, there are many elderly who feel depressed after retirement since they do not know what to do which even results in accelerated ageing. Linking Words
Hence
, work indeed influences one's Linking Words
life
to a certain degree.
At the other end of the spectrum, job achievements will raise one’s self-esteem when a person earns recognition from it. Use synonyms
For example
, a teacher who engages in teaching and cares about students may be satisfied to see students’ improvement. Linking Words
Moreover
, when someone finds a job that he/she truly loves, the considerable change can be Linking Words
life
-long Use synonyms
due to
the enhancement of self-values. Linking Words
Hence
, career success indeed will elevate the meaning of Linking Words
life
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, despite the fact that work is only a part of Linking Words
life
, its significant effects cannot be denied. The most important thing is how people gain personal growth and a sense of achievement from it. Use synonyms
Therefore
, career progress is considerably associated with Linking Words
life
values.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good level of coherence, with logical sequencing of ideas and a clear overall progression. However, the connections between some of the main points and examples could be strengthened. Make sure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next by using a wider range of cohesive devices and more nuanced topic sentences that link back to the thesis more explicitly.
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While you have provided an essay that addresses the task with clear ideas, it would benefit from development through more specific and varied examples. Offering unique, detailed instances or case studies associated with the topic at hand could improve the 'relevant specific examples' aspect. Broadening the scope of your argument to capture a diversity of perspectives can also enhance completeness.