There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that work has a vital role to play in one's

life

Therefore

, some people harbour a belief that

life

will become meaningless without succeeding in jobs, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. As people are prone to gaining a sense of accomplishment from jobs, I am inclined to stand with the statement that success in a career will make

life

meaningful.

Initially

, one of the main arguments in favour of the connection between jobs and

life

meaning is that individuals need ambition for

life

Thus

, they should have goals to achieve ,

otherwise

life

will turn out to be tedious when someone lives without purpose.

For instance

, there are many elderly who feel depressed after retirement since they do not know what to do which even results in accelerated ageing.

Hence

, work indeed influences one's

life

to a certain degree. At the other end of the spectrum, job achievements will raise one’s self-esteem when a person earns recognition from it.

For example

, a teacher who engages in teaching and cares about students may be satisfied to see students’ improvement.

Moreover

, when someone finds a job that he/she truly loves, the considerable change can be

life

-long

due to

the enhancement of self-values.

Hence

, career success indeed will elevate the meaning of

life

To sum up

, despite the fact that work is only a part of

life

, its significant effects cannot be denied. The most important thing is how people gain personal growth and a sense of achievement from it.

Therefore

, career progress is considerably associated with

life

values.

Submitted by s99104032 on Tue Jan 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a good level of coherence, with logical sequencing of ideas and a clear overall progression. However, the connections between some of the main points and examples could be strengthened. Make sure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next by using a wider range of cohesive devices and more nuanced topic sentences that link back to the thesis more explicitly.

task achievement

While you have provided an essay that addresses the task with clear ideas, it would benefit from development through more specific and varied examples. Offering unique, detailed instances or case studies associated with the topic at hand could improve the 'relevant specific examples' aspect. Broadening the scope of your argument to capture a diversity of perspectives can also enhance completeness.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

Some students take a year off and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that university students should specialize in one subject, while others think universities should encourage students to learn a range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.