Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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Individuals

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live in rat races nowadays, striving to be number one either in school or in the workplace.

However

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, some

individuals

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tend to collaborate with

others

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instead

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of competing. It is my opinion that every decision has its challenges and outcomes. In

this

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essay, I will examine both views and explain why I feel that collaboration is more crucial than competition.

To begin

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with, the modern era, with significant technological changes, has made people more individualistic, often considering only their own interests without thinking about collective welfare.

This

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influences an individual's personality and character. The fear of missing out drives

individuals

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to run quickly and strive to be better than

others

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This

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condition is influenced by technological advancements and development in one’s country.

Furthermore

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individuals

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tend to be competitive and ambitious, believing that competition can help them achieve their desired positions.

However

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, if

individuals

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fail to achieve their goals, they may feel inadequate and blame themselves.

This

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can lead to severe consequences

such

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as mental health issues.

For example

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, in Korea, many students study for around 12 hours daily, and the number of people experiencing stress and mental illness is significantly higher than in other countries.

This

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is influenced by competitiveness and the fear of being left out.

On the other hand

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, some

individuals

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are taught to cooperate with

others

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to achieve their goals quickly and build connections, gaining knowledge and insight from mentors, peers, and teamwork.

Individuals

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with more connections tend to communicate better, express their opinions clearly, and grow faster.

This

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also

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reduces stress and increases contentment. In conclusion, all choices depend on an individual’s perception, and

individuals

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should consider the outcomes.

However

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, the benefits of collaboration outweigh the competitiveness because

individuals

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can gain a wider perspective and develop essential social skills. Humans are social beings and need

others

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fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their needs and find happiness.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Jul 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Your arguments are clear but could benefit from more specific examples and deeper analysis.

task response

While your ideas are clearly presented, consider refining them further for more complexity and depth. Address counterarguments more explicitly to add balance.

coherence cohesion

Excellent structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which makes your main argument clear.

task response

You have successfully covered both perspectives, providing a balanced viewpoint.

task response

Good use of relevant examples to illustrate your points, such as the reference to students in Korea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. Why does this happen? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

**There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems.** **To what extent do you agree or disagree?**

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?