online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?
One of the most controversial issues relates to the benefits and drawbacks of online shopping. Some individuals believe that from the moment online shopping was introduced to its nowadays users, it had a positive influence on different spheres of their lives.
However
, there is a belief that online shopping can be disadvantageous, as by using online markets people have a loss of their personal data. In this
essay, I agree that the merits of this
trend outweigh its disadvantages.
On the one hand, the safety of the private data of their customers should be guaranteed by the official developers of the online store. Personal information such
as passport and debit or credit card parameters should stay under specific passcodes that only the customer would have access to. For instance
, if some individual tries to use another person’s account for purchasing and fails with the spelling of any of the private parameters, the notification about that operation would immediately reach its actual owner. As a result
, this
feature would reduce the customers' stress and make sure that their personal data is secured.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that the benefits of online shopping are highly valuable for people’s lives. This
type of shopping reduces the time for making a choice and varies between different brands which is not possible to do in life shopping. For example
, by entering Amazon or Trendyol, people can switch on the filters to narrow requests and speed up their seeking process. In addition
to saving time, online shopping also
provides an opportunity to vary not only between brands but also
the type of product, so is possible to buy not only clothing but also
goods or medicaments.
In conclusion, I agree that the online shopping advantages that were mentioned above overbalance the disadvantages. Thus
, there should be more control from online services to prevent the loss of personal details.Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay clearly introduces the main topic and presents arguments for the advantages outweighing the disadvantages of online shopping, indicating a logical structure. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother and paragraph structure could benefit from clearer topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly restates the main argument, solidifying the essay's stance on the issue. Nonetheless, incorporating a more sophisticated range of linking phrases could enhance the cohesion of the essay further.
task achievement
The task has been addressed, and the essay provides sufficient development of ideas related to the topic. However, to elevate the score, it would be essential to demonstrate a more effective balance between the advantages and disadvantages discussed. Presenting the counter-argument more thoroughly would allow for a more nuanced exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Ideas are clear, but they are not always expanded comprehensively. Greater detail and more in-depth analysis in the supporting paragraphs would enhance the depth of the essay.
task achievement
While examples are provided, they could be more relevant and specific to strengthen the arguments. Including real-life scenarios or more concrete data regarding the safety features of online shopping platforms would aid in illustrating the points more effectively.