online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?

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One of the most controversial issues relates to the benefits and drawbacks of online shopping. Some individuals believe that from the moment online shopping was introduced to its nowadays users, it had a positive influence on different spheres of their lives.

However

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, there is a belief that online shopping can be disadvantageous, as by using online markets people have a loss of their personal data. In

this

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essay, I agree that the merits of

this

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trend outweigh its disadvantages. On the one hand, the safety of the private data of their customers should be guaranteed by the official developers of the online store. Personal information

such

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as passport and debit or credit card parameters should stay under specific passcodes that only the customer would have access to.

For instance

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, if some individual tries to use another person’s account for purchasing and fails with the spelling of any of the private parameters, the notification about that operation would immediately reach its actual owner.

As a result

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this

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feature would reduce the customers' stress and make sure that their personal data is secured.

On the other hand

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, I strongly believe that the benefits of online shopping are highly valuable for people’s lives.

This

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type of shopping reduces the time for making a choice and varies between different brands which is not possible to do in life shopping.

For example

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, by entering Amazon or Trendyol, people can switch on the filters to narrow requests and speed up their seeking process.

In addition

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to saving time, online shopping

also

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provides an opportunity to vary not only between brands but

also

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the type of product, so is possible to buy not only clothing but

also

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goods or medicaments. In conclusion, I agree that the online shopping advantages that were mentioned above overbalance the disadvantages.

Thus

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, there should be more control from online services to prevent the loss of personal details.

Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay clearly introduces the main topic and presents arguments for the advantages outweighing the disadvantages of online shopping, indicating a logical structure. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother and paragraph structure could benefit from clearer topic sentences.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion neatly restates the main argument, solidifying the essay's stance on the issue. Nonetheless, incorporating a more sophisticated range of linking phrases could enhance the cohesion of the essay further.

task achievement

The task has been addressed, and the essay provides sufficient development of ideas related to the topic. However, to elevate the score, it would be essential to demonstrate a more effective balance between the advantages and disadvantages discussed. Presenting the counter-argument more thoroughly would allow for a more nuanced exploration of the topic.

task achievement

Ideas are clear, but they are not always expanded comprehensively. Greater detail and more in-depth analysis in the supporting paragraphs would enhance the depth of the essay.

task achievement

While examples are provided, they could be more relevant and specific to strengthen the arguments. Including real-life scenarios or more concrete data regarding the safety features of online shopping platforms would aid in illustrating the points more effectively.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

E-commerce
Cybersecurity
Impulse purchasing
Data encryption
Consumer behavior
Sustainable practices
Customer reviews
Retail therapy
Digital footprint
Brick-and-mortar
Encryption
Phishing
User-friendly interface
Comparison shopping
Product authenticity
Personal data protection
Eco-friendly packaging

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online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?

young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.