IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

#people #work #standards #home #country #path
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lots of
people
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 decide to
immigrate
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 to a foreign
country
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 as they believe they can have better lives there rather than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own region. I subscribe to
this
Linking Words
 idea. Analyzing having more safety and getting better salaries will support
this
Linking Words
 argument.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
People
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 usually prefer to live in a safe
country
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 in order to have
stressless
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
 lives.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 it can be seen that
people
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 from countries which
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in wars or high
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of
street-crime
Correct your spelling
street crime
show examples
,
immigrate
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 to more
peacfull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 regions. It can help them to provide more efficient lives for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 and their families.
Thus
Linking Words
, immigrating can help improve
Use synonyms
people have more
Verb problem
people's
show examples
 safety.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
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 from poor countries tend to
immigrate
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 to richer countries to increase their income as their revenue does not meet their needs in their own
country
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.
For example
Linking Words
, every year a lot of
people
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immigrate
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 to
germany
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Germany
show examples
 because of its job opportunities and its high income. They will have better
purchusing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 power of life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, immigrating to a developed
country
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 can result
making
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 more money and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a more quality life.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
immigruting
Correct your spelling
immigrating
 to a foreign
country
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 can help
people
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having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more safety and better income. So it can be a good way to provide a more
sutisfiying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
 life.
Submitted by m.momeni1010 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Reflect on utilizing varied sentence structures and transitions for smooth progression of ideas which will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to fully address all parts of the task, including stating if there are more advantages or disadvantages. Expand your examples to be more specific and detailed which will demonstrate the ability to discuss ideas at length and enhance task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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