IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

#people #work #standards #home #country #path
lots of
people
 decide to
immigrate
 to a foreign
country
 as they believe they can have better lives there rather than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own region. I subscribe to
this
 idea. Analyzing having more safety and getting better salaries will support
this
 argument.
Firstly
,
People
 usually prefer to live in a safe
country
 in order to have
stressless
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
 lives.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 it can be seen that
people
 from countries which
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in wars or high
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of
street-crime
Correct your spelling
street crime
show examples
,
immigrate
 to more
peacfull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 regions. It can help them to provide more efficient lives for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 and their families.
Thus
, immigrating can help improve
people have more
Verb problem
people's
show examples
 safety.
Secondly
,
people
 from poor countries tend to
immigrate
 to richer countries to increase their income as their revenue does not meet their needs in their own
country
.
For example
, every year a lot of
people
immigrate
 to
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 because of its job opportunities and its high income. They will have better
purchusing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 power of life.
Therefore
, immigrating to a developed
country
 can result
making
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 more money and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a more quality life.
To conclude
,
immigruting
Correct your spelling
immigrating
 to a foreign
country
 can help
people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more safety and better income. So it can be a good way to provide a more
sutisfiying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
 life.
Submitted by m.momeni1010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Reflect on utilizing varied sentence structures and transitions for smooth progression of ideas which will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to fully address all parts of the task, including stating if there are more advantages or disadvantages. Expand your examples to be more specific and detailed which will demonstrate the ability to discuss ideas at length and enhance task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: