Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

#people #work #standards #home #country #path

lots of

people

decide to

immigrate

to a foreign

country

as they believe they can have better lives there rather than

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

own region. I subscribe to

this

idea. Analyzing having more safety and getting better salaries will support

this

argument.

Firstly

People

usually prefer to live in a safe

country

in order to have

stressless

Correct your spelling

stress-free

show examples

lives.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

it can be seen that

people

from countries which

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in wars or high

rate

Fix the agreement mistake

rates

show examples

street-crime

Correct your spelling

street crime

show examples

immigrate

to more

peacfull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

regions. It can help them to provide more efficient lives for

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

and their families.

Thus

, immigrating can help improve

people have more

Verb problem

people's

show examples

safety.

Secondly

people

from poor countries tend to

immigrate

to richer countries to increase their income as their revenue does not meet their needs in their own

country

For example

, every year a lot of

people

immigrate

germany

Change the capitalization

Germany

show examples

because of its job opportunities and its high income. They will have better

purchusing

Correct your spelling

purchasing

power of life.

Therefore

, immigrating to a developed

country

can result

making

Change preposition

in making

show examples

more money and

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a more quality life.

To conclude

immigruting

Correct your spelling

immigrating

to a foreign

country

can help

people

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

more safety and better income. So it can be a good way to provide a more

sutisfiying

Correct your spelling

satisfying

life.

Submitted by m.momeni1010 on Wed Jan 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Reflect on utilizing varied sentence structures and transitions for smooth progression of ideas which will enhance coherence.

task achievement

Try to fully address all parts of the task, including stating if there are more advantages or disadvantages. Expand your examples to be more specific and detailed which will demonstrate the ability to discuss ideas at length and enhance task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school
Learning a secondary language , especially in our modern international society is a must. While some believe the education system should postpone teaching the foreign language to pupils until they complete their primary school, I would side with those who argue it should be taught to them as soon as they enter their first grade.
7
band
To succeed in a business, one needs to be good at maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, it has been commonly believed that the better at mathematics at school, the more success in business people can achieve. The writer contends that being good at math helps people more in the financial sector because of fundamental knowledge in business and gifted intelligence.
4
band
Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion
There are some public places where smoke is banned. I believe that this prohibition is the best decision that the government and the commerce can make. The decision of smoking is something personal and it is not fair that people that do not have this habit become a passive smoker.
4.5
band
computers and ai technology are increasingly being used for online education . can ai exhance the learning experiences . is this a positive or negative development?
ai and computers are more and more increasing on online education . the internet have more information and it can help social improve their knowledge , but using more internet make social always depend on it and public will be lazy and stupid. i agree with the negative development and my reason is in the following essay.
4.5
band
“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?
As we have entered another new form of economic crisis under the current political-economy condition, the financial burden for working-class family is greater than ever. For those who have kids, this burden doubles, if not triples. Often times, this issue immediately translates to the increase of working hour the parents take in order to get a bigger take-home pay. Even when it's done for the advancement of their respective careers is no great matter, as the ultimate goal is in the end about the material gains such progress bring to the table.

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school

To succeed in a business, one needs to be good at maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion

computers and ai technology are increasingly being used for online education . can ai exhance the learning experiences . is this a positive or negative development?

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?