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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.

The graph belows shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe, by seasons.
#belows #sales #food #items #cafe #seasons
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The given bar chart illustrates the
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of food
items
Use synonyms
 that have been sold
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 at Brisk Cafe in
Winter
Use synonyms
 and Summer. The units were measured in number of servings and the
items
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divided
Add a missing verb
were divided
show examples
 into five types, hot
coffee
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, iced
coffee
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,
ice
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 cream,
soup
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 and
salad
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
soup
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in
Winter
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Summer all of the
items
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 were relatively sold more than 25
items
Use synonyms
. In terms of the
sales
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 during the
Winter
Use synonyms
 season, the highest
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
sales
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 was hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 at 75. The second place was followed by
soup
Use synonyms
 at
Correct article usage
an avarage
show examples
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
50
Change preposition
of 50
show examples
 pieces.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
ice
Use synonyms
 cream and
salad
Use synonyms
 have been sold almost in the same
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
, around 24
items
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. Meanwhile, iced
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
sales
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 at nearly average at 2
items
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. Regarding the
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 that
sold
Add a missing verb
were sold
show examples
 in the Summer, the average of all food
items
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 below 40. The highest figure was
ice
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 at exactly 40 and experienced the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 gap compared with
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the winter
show examples
winter
Correct article usage
the winter
show examples
 season.
Ice
Use synonyms
 cream was followed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place at around 35,
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
 higher number than
sales
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
. The
sales
Use synonyms
 of hot
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 at
pricesely
Correct your spelling
precisely
 30 pieces.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
soup
Use synonyms
 and
salad
Use synonyms
 have
excatly
Correct your spelling
exactly
 the same amount at 25 and
salad
Use synonyms
 was sold in the same figure in both seasons.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words items, winter, coffee, ice, soup, salad, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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