IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #lives #crimes #violence
In contemporary society, capital
punishment
 plays an important role in communities because those punishments make
people
 to more think about what they will commit like crimes or violence.
Therefore
, some individuals believe that if countries are without capital
punishment
,
people
's lives will be less secure and there will be a dramatic increase in the crime rate. In my view, I strongly agree with
this
 issue.
This
 essay will explore my opinion which will be provided.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why the nations which lack the penalty of death have a lot of killers. One of the significant reasons is citizens who commit some crimes are not scared to be captured by police and sent to jail because they will not be killed.
Moreover
, one day, prisoners who are arrested return to their cities and they may act the same way as before.
As a result
, it has negative effects when the regions lack the penalty of death, causing the addition of violence. On the one hand, another factor which causes
people
 to be less secure because of vanishment of capital
punishment
.
This
 is because citizens are worried and unsafe in their lives.
For example
, at midnight, when individuals who do overtime work have to come back to their homes, they may be worried. In some cases, when parents let their children stay at home alone because they have to do jobs, they will be anxious and can not concentrate on their duties. In conclusion, in my perspective, I definitely agree with
this
 idea because if the nation lacks capital
punishment
, it can bring about many troubles
such
 as
people
 being uncomfortable and the increasing crime rate.
Consequently
, the governments should not vanish
this
 rule in order to maintain peace in the countries
Submitted by champperkhu on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to directly answer the question in your introduction, stating clearly whether you agree or disagree, followed by a brief outline of the reasons that will be discussed. Avoid unclear positions.
Task Achievement
Expand on the main ideas with more detailed examples. Examples should be concrete, relevant, and enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed with supporting sentences that relate directly to that main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and aim to use a variety of complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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