IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
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Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
 to read newspapers and
books
 online rather than purchase the reading
materials
 in the printed versions since they believe that online
materials
 are freely available.
However
, I disagree with
people
 who believe that way, as not all access to reading
materials
 is free, and reading physical
books
 offers different experiences.
To begin
 with, there are some
books
 and newspapers that have restricted access, and require the readers to purchase that particular article or subscribe to their platform.
This
 situation happens because there is work behind the text that
people
 read, so the money we spend on it is to pay the
people
 who work behind those
books
 or articles.
Therefore
, we still need to pay some money in order to gain access to the
materials
. As an example, to read articles that are published by the New York Times on the website, the readers are required to subscribe to their platform first.
Additionally
, sometimes, the actual printed publications have a competitive price, which makes the consumer prefer to shop for
books
 or newspapers directly at the bookstores.
Moreover
, the printed version of publications offers a different experience than reading it through gadgets since
people
 can touch and feel the paper, which presents them with the sensation of flipping the pages.
Also
, book papers have their own specific smell, which some
people
 find relaxing.
Furthermore
, there are
people
 whose hobby is collecting
books
,
thus
 shopping for paper
books
 is an enjoyable activity for them because they can build their own collection. By collecting and reading
books
 offline,
people
 can
also
 improve their well-being since gadgets produce blue light, which could be harmful to human health if the exposure intensity is high. Some of the adverse effects on health are sore eyes and poor sleep quality.
To sum up
, in the future, there will be
people
 who still purchase actual reading
materials
 because not all things on the internet are free of charge.
Also
, physical
books
 provide a lot of advantages.
Therefore
, I have no doubt that
people
 who shop for
books
 offline will still exist.
Submitted by someonewhodwells on

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Task Achievement
With regards to Task Achievement, the essay adequately addresses the prompt, yet it does not fully explore the extent of agreement or disagreement with the provided statement. It's crucial to develop a more nuanced argument or provide a broader range of reasons and implications of the statement to enhance the depth of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion by maintaining a logical structure throughout, with clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, try to ensure that all paragraphs are equally developed, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance connectivity between ideas. Furthermore, support each main point more extensively with examples or further explanation to strengthen the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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