IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below show numbers of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in the gormez straits from 2006 to 2018

The bar chart below show numbers of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in the gormez straits from 2006 to 2018
#bar #show #numbers #seals #whales #dolphins #gormez #straits
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of three marine mammals, namely seal, whale, and dolphin that
recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
show examples
 in the Gormez Straits between 2006 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly apparent that the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of
dolphin
Fix the agreement mistake
dolphins
show examples
 in the given period always increase from
time
Use synonyms
 to
time
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, despite the sudden drop
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period, the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
seal
Fix the agreement mistake
seals
show examples
 climbed slowly. Turning to the detail, starting high at more than 40 seals recorded in 2006, over the next 4 years the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of seal population had
plummented
Correct your spelling
plummeted
 dramatically to just over 20 seals. These
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 steadily
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak in 2018
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 45
selas
Correct your spelling
seals
sales
.
However
Linking Words
, the population of whales constantly
fluactuate
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
fluctuated
 over the period. The largest
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
, around 30 whales was recorded in 2018. As for the population of dolphins, from
time
Use synonyms
 to
time
Use synonyms
 it had an upward trend where the number of dolphins always
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
. Despite being the smallest number in 2006, in 12 years it
jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
 dramatically to more than 50 dolphins
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recorded in 2016.
Submitted by nientjeninan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: