Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some
people
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believe that it is beneficial for large
industries
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and companies to move from urban
areas
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to rural
areas
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. I personally believe that the advantages of large
industries
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moving from urban to rural
areas
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outweigh the disadvantages because the urban
areas
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are already polluted, and in the rural
areas
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there
are
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is
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less population. Most of the large
industries
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are already situated in urban
areas
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therefore
Linking Words
, the
pollution
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rate
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is very high. If
industries
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and companies still stand in urban
areas
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, the
pollution
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level will be increased more.
As a result
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, it will make the cities and towns more inappropriate for living.
Therefore
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, if we want to minimize the
pollution
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rate
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industries
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should be moved from urban to rural
areas
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.
For example
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, China has moved 70% of their
industries
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to rural
areas
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, which has diminished the air
pollution
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rate
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of cities
up
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by up
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to 50%.
Hence
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, I believe that if
industries
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can be moved, it will decrease the
pollution
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level.
Furthermore
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, if we can move all the
industries
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to rural
areas
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, there are fewer
population
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populations
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in rural
areas
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than
urban
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in urban
show examples
areas
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.
Therefore
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, the
pollution
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rate
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will affect fewer population. Most importantly, there are some
vacate
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vacant
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areas
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in rural
areas
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, where
people
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do not live. Those
areas
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can be utilized for
industries
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and companies.
For instance
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, in
Bangaladesh
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Bangladesh
, most of the
industries
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are situated in rural
areas
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, which is a strategy to save
people
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from
pollution
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.
Therefore
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, I think all
industries
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should be moved from urban
areas
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to rural
areas
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.
To conclude
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, if
industries
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are situated in rural
areas
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, fewer
people
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will be affected by
pollution
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. The advantages of moving
industries
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from urban to rural
areas
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will outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. You introduced the topic well, but your opinion and main points could be stated more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly connects to your thesis. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly framing your argument.
supported main points
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
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