IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Beka

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Scientists conducted a study that in the modern days no one will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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purchase
newspaper
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newspapers
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 and
books
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. I extremely agree with
this
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 statement , looking at how our world develops in technological terms, in the future they will abandon
paper
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 and switch to electronic or holographic products. More and more people are choosing
e-
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books
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 or audiobooks over traditional
paper
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books
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. But
this
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 does not mean that
paper
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books
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 will soon disappear completely.
E-
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books
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 have some advantages over
paper
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books
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. They are convenient for
traveling
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travelling
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, as you can take a large number of
books
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 with you on one device. They are
also
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 environmentally friendly, as they do not require
paper
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 and do not pollute the environment.
In addition
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,
e-
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books
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 are often cheaper than
paper
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 editions. I
also
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 think that
e-
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books
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 will be very convenient for schoolchildren
,
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apply
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 because it is very difficult to carry 5-6
books
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 to school, which is why there is a tendency to take small bags with you and carry only notebooks there. With the replacement of
paper
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books
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 with electronic ones,
this
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 problem will disappear and schoolchildren will be able to study normally and will be able to study even outside the home and outside the school, on the street. I
also
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 think that in the future, the functionality of
e-
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books
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 will increase, which will help in learning even more. Not only schoolchildren
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 university students or people whose work is connected with
books
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 will receive their advantages. In conclusion, the
growing
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growth
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 of technology progress will lead to absolute dominance of digital technologies. Online reading will be a new evaluation of literature.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be clearer and more concise. You may want to restate the topic and your opinion more explicitly.
Task Achievement
While your points are relevant, they could be further expanded with more specific examples or studies to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider connecting your second and third paragraphs with more cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, and you effectively outline the advantages of e-books over paper books.
Task Achievement
The discussion on the benefits for schoolchildren adds a thoughtful dimension to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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