The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the past decade, by
the
virtue of advanced industry, the preparation for future development has gained in popularity in various countries, leading to a paradigm shift in training today's youngsters to meet Correct article usage
apply
this
requirement. Linking Words
This
implementation, Linking Words
therefore
, is believed to be beneficial for adolescents. Despite the many positive ramifications that may derive from the argument, the complete investment in young Linking Words
labor
is likely to be predominantly disadvantageous to national growth Change the spelling
labour
due to
the disparities and the inconveniences outlined below.
Admittedly, advocates of the mindset that national investment should focus on young workers may argue that youngsters are not only accessible to modern technology but Linking Words
also
creative in terms of inventing technological advances. Linking Words
First,
most of the state-of-the-art technological devices now are being used widely by adolescents, so these learners are likely to have access to future high-tech inventions. Linking Words
Second,
since young citizens are often motivated and curious, they potentially tend to create new technological breakthroughs, leading to many crucial achievements of one nation in technology and science.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, despite the promising positive impacts above, the balanced delivery of government expenses is still the optimal choice. Linking Words
First,
providing support in other essential aspects of life, namely medication, transport, or environment acts as an incentive for national prosperity. It should be remembered that a country cannot be considered wealthy when its ecosystem and medical area are not well-invested. Linking Words
In addition
, Once the state sponsor fully targets young workers, the imbalance in a nation’s economy is completely inevitable. Since young Linking Words
labor
is the only field that receives government expenditures, other important areas will be ignored, Change the spelling
labour
therefore
leading to Linking Words
economic
crisis, chaos, and violence in society.
In conclusion, despite the ubiquity of youngster investment in economic development strategy, equality in spending state budgets remains the most preferred solution Add an article
the economic
due to
its reasonable economic and social features. Because of these merits, it is logical to expect the government development aims to be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.Linking Words
Submitted by hieu.ho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
While you provided an introduction and conclusion, they could be more directly related to the task. Make sure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay, reinforcing your position.
logical structure
Your essay showed some degree of logical structuring, but transitions between ideas could be smoothed out to enhance flow and clarity. Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to aid coherence.
supported main points
You have supported your main points, but the development of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly relevant to that idea.
complete response
You have somewhat completed the task, but there is room for improvement in directly addressing the prompt. Ensure that your essay consistently and explicitly addresses the question whether governments should invest in young people to prepare for the future.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in your essay are relevant but should be expressed more clearly. Aim for greater clarity by simplifying complex sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples are present, but they need to be more fully developed and directly linked to your main points. Incorporate examples that are directly relevant to your argument and analyze them to show how they support your viewpoint.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?