universites should accept equal number of male and female in every subject ? at what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, some people believe that education centres should have the same capacity for both genders. With all respect to
this
standpoint and its benefits, I don't agree with it and I think better
students
, either male or female, should enter the
university
and I'm going to explain my reasons.
To begin
with, some groups of society think that the competition between
students
souldn't
Correct your spelling
couldn't
shouldn't
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
restricted just between
students
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
the same gender.
Firstly
, in some fields, boys may be better than girls or vice versa. So, because of the limits, qualified
students
may fall behind the others just because of their sexuality and someone with less capability enter the college.
Secondly
, some majors like
orthopedic
Replace the word
orthopaedics
show examples
, require more body abilities which makes
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
more suitable for men rather than women or in other majors, females could have the edge over males.
Therefore
, limiting the arrival of each male or female can lead to destroying
dreams
Correct article usage
the dreams
show examples
of some
students
.
Thirdly
, after
university
, there will be no separation between genders and
students
should learn to compete with everybody which helps them to have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
problems
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
a job.
On the other hand
, advocates of gender separation for entering the
university
tout its
advantges
Correct your spelling
advantages
. Girls and boys have different body conditions and different
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and emotions.
Hence
,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
accepting equal
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, universities can contribute to
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
equality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, having a diversity of humans in the
university
can help teenagers to get more familiar with the environment of society and be more open-minded about people.
Thus
, they can become friends with a variety of individuals and be more happy.
For example
, racism is a big problem in some nations and can be solved by equality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education centres and
teaching
Change preposition
by teaching
show examples
children to be kind
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
all humans.
To conclude
, the equality of
acceptaion
Correct your spelling
acceptance
of both genders has some critics and advocates. I think
with
Change preposition
that by
show examples
separating the competition between
students
, they can't be prepared for the real work environment and will have more problems with adapting to that new situation after finishing
university
.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, you provided a clear position throughout the response and addressed all parts of the task, which is commendable. However, the examples used were somewhat generic and did not bolster your argument significantly. To enhance your score, provide more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay displays an adequate logical structure with clear paragraphs, but transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the conclusion could be stronger. Improve coherence and cohesion by better connecting your ideas with a varied range of cohesive devices and a more conclusive summary that reinforces your main point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • meritocracy
  • diversity
  • underrepresentation
  • quotas
  • academic discipline
  • learning environment
  • societal roles
  • STEM fields
  • initiatives
  • negative consequences
  • admissions
  • equal opportunities
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