These days, many people will stay home to watch a live performance (for example, a sports match or a concert) because they can see everything on a TV or computer screen. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the majority of
people
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love to watch their favourite shows and events without going to the actual place
instead
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they enjoy them through video broadcastings using their handheld devices. I completely agree with
this
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and think that it saves our
time
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and money. On the one hand, there are a lot of sources available to which we have easy access.
In other words
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, there are different social media sites and TV channels from where we can watch live performances of our favourite games, interviews, news, and so on.
For instance
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, if there is an international football match going on in another country and even if we are not able to afford expenses or do not have enough
time
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to be there
then
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we can watch them live on TV and other sources. That's why
people
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prefer to enjoy different events on their devices.
On the other hand
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, as
people
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have easy access to the internet their screen
time
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is increasing day by day. They possibly could watch whatever they want on their laptops, tablets, mobile phones and so on.
For example
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, even if we miss the live performance of our favourite artist
then
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there is nothing to worry about because it is easily found on YouTube.
Thus
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,
people
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have an alternative even if they miss out and can watch anything more than once.
To conclude
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,
instead
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of being self-present in a venue, we can watch them on our smart devices which not only saves
time
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but
also
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hard-earned money and can even watch multiple times.
Submitted by suneel22.sn on

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task achievement
Ensure you develop your main points with specific examples. The essay lacks depth in the exploration of the topic; you should expand on the main ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together more effectively. Avoid repetition of phrases and work on using a greater variety of linking words and transitions.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performance
  • viewing experience
  • high-definition (HD)
  • cost-effective
  • convenience
  • multiple camera angles
  • instant replays
  • accessibility
  • inclusiveness
  • social experience
  • viewing party
  • safety and security
  • large crowds
  • overpriced
  • comfort of your own space
  • travel expenses
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