In today's world many people own a smartphonem.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Presently,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of
people
are using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
and they
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
popularly
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
lot
of different reasons.
Besides
that,
people
know that these days were of
technology
and
technology
machines will have a big impact on changes
of
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in
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
This
essay will disagree that many
people
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
a
smartphone
in today's world is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
advantage. Suddenly,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
can contribute more advantages and disadvantages but many
people
could
Verb problem
do
show examples
not know any disadvantages of
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
regularly. With the strong development of
technology
,
smartphone
Add an article
the smartphone
show examples
has a
lot
of benefits and helps
people
easier to solve many problems.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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smartphone
Add an article
the smartphone
show examples
contains a
lot
of useful functions and
assistants
Replace the word
assist
show examples
people
directly.
Although
smartphone
has a
lot
of benefits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
people
need to
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
usefully.
Smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
show examples
can contribute a modern life to
people
with a
lot
of advantages and
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
in touch with someone is the best function of other functions.
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
show examples
Smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
show examples
can have many apps to get in touch with someone
such
as
Capitalize word
Messenger
show examples
messenger
Capitalize word
Messenger
show examples
, Instagram, zalo and
people
can install those apps on
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
to have
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good terms with someone.
On the other hand
, some
people
argue that
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good
technology
device and
people
should
use
it regularly. It will be totally incorrect but it will have a little
true
Replace the word
truth
show examples
because if
people
use
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
a
lot
, it will affect to health and make
people
feel lonely. As more as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Add an article
the smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
will affect
to
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apply
show examples
the eyes with a
lot
of blue lights and reduce
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
of seeing
of
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apply
show examples
people
. Taking everything into account,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
should spend less time on it with
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
, teenagers and adults because it will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's health directly.
People
need to know that using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
suitably with a
lot
of advantages of
this
technology
devices.
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Structural Organization
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This essay lacks a clear structure and could be improved by distinguishing these sections clearly.
Topic Sentences
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea and ensure that each subsequent sentence relates directly to this idea for better coherence.
Cohesion Devices
Employ a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively and make the essay more readable. This includes using synonyms, pronouns, and transition words appropriately.
Task Fulfillment
Fully address all parts of the task. Both the advantages and disadvantages should be clearly discussed, and a conclusion stating which one outweighs the other should be provided, as per the essay prompt.
Development of Ideas
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas instead of vague statements. Each advantage or disadvantage should be explained thoroughly, with clear and logical reasoning.
Use of Examples
Support your points with relevant, specific examples. This adds weight to your arguments and makes them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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