Give me band prediction and feedback for this IELTS Writing Task 2. Please analyse based on the IELTS public band descriptions and also the substance.

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Recently, an increasing number of

people

from rural regions are migrating to urban areas and leaving the countryside with a declining population. I firmly believe it is a negative development which can lead to an escalated unemployment rate and potential environmental impacts. One serious problem that may arise from urbanisation is the worsening number of unemployed inhabitants. Looking for a career is one primary motive for migrating;

however

, only a few consider the competition with existing populations and available opportunities.

As a result

, these

people

are left unemployed for a long time

due to

job scarcity. Jakarta,

for example

, is one of the regions in Indonesia with the highest employment rate owing to citizens from rural-dominated provinces arriving for jobs, whilst many of the current populations are

also

still jobless. Another issue is that urbanisation potentially harms the environment. With

people

moving to settle in cities for good, more open green spaces utilised for eco-parks to filter carbon emissions will decrease as residential areas will replace them.

Moreover

, insufficient public transportation may arise as a new issue, and

people

will drive their private vehicles, leading to higher traffic congestion.

For instance

, many commuter trains and public buses in Jakarta are always overcapacity on business days, even outside rush hours.

As a result

people

in Jakarta think it is better to have private vehicles

such

as motorcycles or cars that contribute nothing but more traffic. In conclusion,

although

moving to cities might grant

people

from the countryside opportunities to build their careers, it is generally a negative trend as it may lead to more jobless citizens and harmful environmental effects.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Wed Jan 10 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear overall progression and that your ideas flow logically from one to another. Make use of a range of cohesive devices to help provide a seamless connection between ideas and paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

Structure your main body paragraphs effectively, with each one presenting a central idea that relates back to the topic and your thesis statement. Develop each paragraph fully with explanations and examples.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task by providing a clear and relevant response to the prompt. Your introduction should set the foundation for the essay, and the conclusion must effectively summarize your points without introducing new information.

Task Achievement

Be sure to provide a clear position throughout the response, and support your ideas with evidence or examples. This will greatly aid in enhancing the clarity and depth of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Give me band prediction and feedback for this IELTS Writing Task 2. Please analyse based on the IELTS public band descriptions and also the substance.

Your opinion

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?

in their advertising bsinesses nowadays ususally emphasise that their products are new in some way. whay is this ? do you think it is a positife or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.