The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #future #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Investing in youth is the most effective approach

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

government

Use synonyms

ready

Verb problem

prepare

show examples

itself for the future. I agree with

this

Linking Words

idea and my view will be explained in

this

Linking Words

essay To start with,

government

Use synonyms

investing in youngsters can fix many

issue

Change to a plural noun

issues

show examples

regarding the quality of their population.

Younger

Correct article usage

The younger

show examples

generation

contribute

Change the verb form

contributes

show examples

a huge part of

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

workforce

Use synonyms

. They

represents

Change the verb form

represent

show examples

the future

workforce

Use synonyms

and leader. Investing in their education and skills development enhances the

overall

Linking Words

human capital of a nation.

For example

Linking Words

, giving a scholarship to talented and smart students will enable them to pursue higher education without financial barriers, empowering them to contribute significantly

throughout

Change preposition

through

show examples

new innovations, entrepreneurship, job creation and productivity.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, supporting young adults can reduce the burden directed towards

older

Add an article

the older

show examples

generation. Many people still work in their retirement age because there is no one that

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

replaced

Change the form of the verb

replace

show examples

their position. The reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomena

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

show examples

is because

specific

Change preposition

of specific

show examples

skill gaps in the

workforce

Use synonyms

. The investment can easily fix

this

Linking Words

problem by strategically targeting

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

gaps.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Indonesia, there is an organization that

function

Change the verb form

functions

show examples

Correct article usage

a trainers

show examples

trainers

Fix the agreement mistake

trainer

show examples

for people who are less fortunate in

theie

Correct your spelling

their

economy.

This

Linking Words

organization will assist them

to choose

Change preposition

in choosing

show examples

a career path by training them, and

this

Linking Words

skill's

Change noun form

skill

show examples

training

are

Change the verb form

show examples

free

charge

Change preposition

of charge

show examples

since the local

government

Use synonyms

gives their full support. In the on of the day,

this

Linking Words

organization lessen the

unnemployment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

rate in Indonesia. In conclusion, it is apparent that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

will have great

oppurtunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

their

Change the word

the

show examples

younger generation

educated

Add a missing verb

is educated

show examples

effectively

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they are the face that will lead their country's

workforce

Use synonyms

and developments in the future.

Submitted by nientjeninan on Wed Jan 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and state your opinion clearly. The body paragraphs should each contain one main idea supported by examples or evidence. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.

cohesion

Strengthen the cohesion within your paragraphs by utilizing a variety of linking words and ensuring logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should flow smoothly to the next.

development

Your essay needs a more comprehensive development of ideas. Go deeper in the analysis and provide thorough explanations on how investing in youth specifically prepares a government for the future.

examples

Examples used to support your points should be well-integrated into your argument. Elaborate on them to demonstrate how they directly relate to the topic. Additionally, ensure real-world examples are accurate and relevant.

grammar

Some grammatical mistakes and word usage errors are present, which impact the clarity of your message. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate preposition use.

task response

In Task Achievement, be sure to address the prompt fully. While you have taken a clear position, expand your discussion so it addresses all aspects of the topic prompt comprehensively. Each point you make should directly tie back to the question of how government investment in youth prepares for the future.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
adaptability
entrepreneurship
demographics
socioeconomic
civic engagement
leadership
sustainable development
preventative measures
infrastructure
global competitiveness
skill development
vocational training
public policy
social welfare
human capital
technological literacy
inclusive growth
long-term planning
fiscal responsibility

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are argumentatives notions heating up a debate over the expense of the healthcare and educational system. While some claim that it is vital for the authority to foot the bill for those two expenditures, the opposite makes a statement that the governors bear no liability to do such a thing. Whilst both perspectives are valid to some certain extent, I would contend that the bill for the medical and educational industries should be foot, but only partially.
7
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a campus holiday for the first time this summer. He / She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday - describe some possible disadvantages - say whether you would like to camping with your friend this summer Write at least 150 words. You do not need to write any addresses Begin your letter as follow: Dear….,
Hope you are doing well. I came to know that you want to go on a campus holiday this summer and I am writing this letter to inform you about some advantages and disadvantages of this camp.
6.5
band
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight.
7
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years almost all countries worldwide can purchase food products all over the nation at a supermarket. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider it a very negative trend.
6.5
band
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
Immigration has a significant impact on the contemporary society. Each year, more and more people from all over the world decide to leave their home countries and move to another place. This essay will examine the reasons and the consequences of immigration.

The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?