The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #future #people

Investing in youth is the most effective approach

from

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for

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government

ready

Verb problem

prepare

show examples

itself for the future. I agree with

this

idea and my view will be explained in

this

essay To start with,

government

investing in youngsters can fix many

issue

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issues

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regarding the quality of their population.

Younger

Correct article usage

The younger

show examples

generation

contribute

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contributes

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a huge part of

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

workforce

. They

represents

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represent

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the future

workforce

and leader. Investing in their education and skills development enhances the

overall

human capital of a nation.

For example

, giving a scholarship to talented and smart students will enable them to pursue higher education without financial barriers, empowering them to contribute significantly

throughout

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through

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new innovations, entrepreneurship, job creation and productivity.

Furthermore

, supporting young adults can reduce the burden directed towards

older

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the older

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generation. Many people still work in their retirement age because there is no one that

able

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is able

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replaced

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replace

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their position. The reason

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for

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this

phenomena

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phenomenon

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is because

specific

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of specific

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skill gaps in the

workforce

. The investment can easily fix

this

problem by strategically targeting

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

gaps.

For instance

, in Indonesia, there is an organization that

function

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functions

show examples

Correct article usage

a trainers

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trainers

Fix the agreement mistake

trainer

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for people who are less fortunate in

theie

Correct your spelling

their

economy.

This

organization will assist them

to choose

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in choosing

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a career path by training them, and

this

skill's

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skill

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training

are

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free

charge

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of charge

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since the local

government

gives their full support. In the on of the day,

this

organization lessen the

unnemployment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

rate in Indonesia. In conclusion, it is apparent that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

will have great

oppurtunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

their

Change the word

the

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younger generation

educated

Add a missing verb

is educated

show examples

effectively

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apply

show examples

because they are the face that will lead their country's

workforce

and developments in the future.

Submitted by nientjeninan on Wed Jan 10 2024

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structure

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and state your opinion clearly. The body paragraphs should each contain one main idea supported by examples or evidence. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.

cohesion

Strengthen the cohesion within your paragraphs by utilizing a variety of linking words and ensuring logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should flow smoothly to the next.

development

Your essay needs a more comprehensive development of ideas. Go deeper in the analysis and provide thorough explanations on how investing in youth specifically prepares a government for the future.

examples

Examples used to support your points should be well-integrated into your argument. Elaborate on them to demonstrate how they directly relate to the topic. Additionally, ensure real-world examples are accurate and relevant.

grammar

Some grammatical mistakes and word usage errors are present, which impact the clarity of your message. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate preposition use.

task response

In Task Achievement, be sure to address the prompt fully. While you have taken a clear position, expand your discussion so it addresses all aspects of the topic prompt comprehensively. Each point you make should directly tie back to the question of how government investment in youth prepares for the future.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
adaptability
entrepreneurship
demographics
socioeconomic
civic engagement
leadership
sustainable development
preventative measures
infrastructure
global competitiveness
skill development
vocational training
public policy
social welfare
human capital
technological literacy
inclusive growth
long-term planning
fiscal responsibility

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The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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TASK 2 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Many people aroung the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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