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Band 5.5

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Nowadays, the majority of people in the world suffer from starvation
while
 we have witnessed agricultural advancement. In my opinion, progressing in agriculture isn'
t
 enough to provide
food
 for all people and we need to improve
food
 transportation, and all
areas
 should be able to exploit
this
 advancement. In
this
 essay, I will discuss reasons and solutions for
this
 issue. I believe that the existence of new facilities isn'
t
 enough to feed a great deal of folks, and other aspects should be considered.
Firstly
, Numerous roads aren'
t
 sufficient for
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
 and decent vehicles
such
 as trucks and trains should be provided in order to receive
products
 faster before they get spoiled or ruined.
Secondly
, agricultural
products
 should be maintained in good conditions in stocks for a long time to be able to be used at any time.
For example
, in my country, many
products
 have been infested by rodents
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of sufficient stocks.
Finally
, agriculture is usually implemented in rural
areas
 and suburbs where
farmers
 are still utilizing traditional methods. Traditional methods are slow and lower
products
 can be produced through them so despite a myriad of difficulties
farmers
 have endured they aren'
t
 satisfied with their incomes.
Thus
, all
areas
 from cultivating
products
 to distributing them should be facilitated.
However
, there are many useful ways to tackle
this
 problem and I will refer to two main of them. One of the major solutions is that roads with strong infrastructure should be built and the latest vehicle used to boost the rate of distribution and transformation of
food
.
Also
, all rural
areas
 must be equipped with the latest amenities and strategies regarding agriculture
consequently
, the more
farmers
' income will increase and the more they are encouraged to continue farming and cause economic growth.
Therefore
, the amount of
food
 production would increase, more individuals could survive and the percentage of disease and fatality
due to
 starvation would decrease. In conclusion, if we want to rescue hungry individuals, we should consider diverse aspects
such
 as transportation, supply, and
farmers
' benefits, and not just focus on agricultural equipment.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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supported main points
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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