IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In some countries, some people get extremely high income and it is believed that this will be of great good to the country while others are of the believe that government should limit the amount of income earned in a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #people #income #country #believe #government #limit #amount
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In the modern,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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want
Add the particle
want to
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 get
dramatically
Add an article
a dramatically
the dramatically
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 high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 that impact
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
country
Use synonyms
.
whereas
Linking Words
 Others think that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should control the total
of
Change preposition
apply
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salary earned in a
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain both views and will provide my opinion as well in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the high income of people is important for many
Use synonyms
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 because if they have
high
Add an article
the high
a high
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 income they must spend more taxation for
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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.Taxation is the major budget of government to improve facilities or
welfate
Correct your spelling
welfare
benefit
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benefits
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 for people.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 high income
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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 innovation for
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 the government provide
budget
Add an article
a budget
the budget
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 to research new
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 or new
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
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 for people.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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task achievement
You need to establish a clear introduction that sets the context and mentions both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. The essay requires a well-rounded discussion on both perspectives mentioned in the prompt. Your essay has begun to touch on both sides, but more development and detailed examples are needed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical flow by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a central idea, which is then explained, elaborated upon, or exemplified. Use cohesive devices effectively, such as discourse markers and linking words, to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic activity
  • Stimulates growth
  • Progressive tax
  • Income disparity
  • Social mobility
  • Wealth redistribution
  • Government intervention
  • Economic incentive
  • Brain drain
  • Entrepreneurial spirit
  • Innovation
  • Political influence
  • Equitable distribution
What to do next:
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