Some people believe that old people should take part in sport to stay healthy. Others think there are better ways for old people to stay healthy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
argue that elderly people
should engage in sports activities in order to stay fit, while
others think it is possible to become healthy by taking different steps. I completely agree with the latter idea due to
several reasons.
Doing exercises can indeed be beneficial all around. This
activity can improve old people
’s well-being both physically and mentally. Firstly
, it can cure people
from the inside by promoting blood circulation, digestion, bone density, hair and skin quality which results in elder people
being more mobile and feeling younger themselves. In addition
to this
, their daily activities get much easier like going up and down stairs or standing up from the sofa. For example
, the
research conducted in the USA shows that old Correct article usage
apply
people
who do daily exercises like yoga or running can handle everyday housework better compared to their counterparts. Besides
, it is obvious that when people
can not function properly throughout the day, their self-confidence and self-esteem decrease dramatically causing depression or stress. This
tells us that if people
do not have such
problems, their emotional well-being is more likely to be in a good state.
But in my view, elderly people
can still be healthy by changing their daily lifestyle. Firstly
, they can start having a proper diet which is rich in adequate nutrition like protein, and carbohydrates. At the same time, they shouldn’t forget to hydrate themselves with enough water as well. These are all because it’s well-admitted by everyone that we are what we eat. Secondly
, they need to improve their sleep quality. It’s recommended for
elderly Correct word choice
that
people
to
sleep at least 8 hours at night since many statistics illustrate it might have a negative effect on their everyday lives if they don’t follow Fix the infinitive
apply
this
suggestion. Finally
, I think old people
have more downtime to relax or engage in different hobbies as many of them retire after 60, which means that they can spend that time fishing, gardening, repairing or just going for a walk in nature. In my opinion, these activities are almost similar to doing sports or even much better, because they require old people
to take physical action and it’s also
something they love doing.
In conclusion, doing sports can indeed bring about health benefits to elderly people
, but I think by just having a better lifestyle and doing something they love they can still be healthy both physically and emotionally.Submitted by firdavsyuldashev111 on
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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and presents a clear position on it. Your position was not fully clear in the initial paragraph.
coherence
Try to include a variety of logical connectors to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
paragraph development
Develop paragraphs fully by exploring each viewpoint thoroughly before moving on to the next.
use of examples
Make sure to provide examples that are directly relevant to the topic and points being made to support your arguments better.
conclusion
In your conclusion, clearly summarize the points discussed and restate your personal viewpoint, ensuring it reflects the opinions you've expressed in the body of the essay.
task response
Your essay should address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both views comprehensively and give your own opinion, supported with specific reasons and examples.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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