Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Technical developments are bringing significant impacts on farming nowadays . In my point of view

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there is a great increase in agricultural numbers

although

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it may

cause

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some issues related to

health

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and quality.

Firstly

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, today, our food storages are filling out with products with scientific advancements which can not grow up some seasons .

Secondly

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, domestic animals are

also

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increasing fast . These ratings will be affected by

chemicals

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which play a big role in growing .

For example

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, chickens or cows are producing more feed by adding

chemicals

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Also

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, these

chemicals

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will help to improve sales and production .

Therefore

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, we have to use

chemicals

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for farming after that we will not have any problem with food shortages.

On the other hand

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, using these kinds of technical advances will play a bad role in today's life. Products will have

chemicals

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or biological additions to their ingredient. In these keys , their original nutrient will destroyed . It may

cause

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people

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health

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problems

such

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as obesity .

For example

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, some kind of injections for chickens will have to increase their numbers and it will

cause

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to decrease in their price . After that

people

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addicted to eating them . Doctors show

this

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solution for human fat .

Therefore

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people

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can face

health

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issues . In conclusion , using nutrients for farming has both positive and negative sides .

While

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it can help to increase food supplies , it may

cause

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negative sides to

people

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health

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makemoneyizzy16Wed Dec 04 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas, and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

Task Achievement

Include more specific, detailed examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your ability to incorporate relevant data and evidence.

Task Achievement

Clarify your ideas and ensure they are fully developed in each paragraph. Avoid overly general statements and dig deeper into each point to provide a clearer picture of your argument.

Introduction and Conclusion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.

Task Achievement

The response fully engages with the task, addressing both the benefits and potential drawbacks of scientific developments in farming.

Task Achievement

The essay successfully identifies key issues related to health and quality as being affected by scientific advancements in agriculture.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

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Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that children should be taught at school to recycle material and avoid waste. Other believe that should be taught at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change