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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are opting for readymade food intead of freshly home cooked food. Discuss advantageous and disadvantages?

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Never have so many
people
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 relied mainly on pre-cooked
meals
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 rather than prepared at home as they do nowadays.
This
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 essay will suggest that the main advantages of
this
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 growing propensity are the time being saved and the variety of meal options it guarantees,
while
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 the poor quality and rising inability to cook among young
people
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 are its prime drawbacks. Readymade
meals
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 are not only a time-saving option but
also
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 serve a broad variety of
food
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 to be consumed by an individual, depending on one's preferences. In that case, a person does not need to spend time cooking, which is undoubtedly a time-consuming process and
thus
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, can use
this
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 time more efficiently,
for example
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 working on a project or playing with a child.
Besides
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, pre-cooked
meals
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 are an excellent option for families where some have special diet restrictions,
such
Linking Words
 as lactose intolerance or vegetarianism, and it is hardly possible to prepare daily
meals
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 for each member of the family. Under these circumstances, pre-cooked
meals
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 might be a significant convenience for a family. Despite those advantages, previously prepared
food
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 undoubtedly presents certain drawbacks primarily the lack of nutrients provided, and
secondly
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 a decrease in the ability to cook among young
people
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 opting for out-dining
food
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. As readymade
food
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 is usually prepared massively, it does not include any valuable vitamins or nutrients. A good illustration of
this
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 fast
food
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 restaurants,
such
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 as KFC or Burger King, which despite the speed at which they prepare their
meals
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, are mainly known for the poor quality of
food
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 they offer.
In addition
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, the growing popularity of pre-cooked
food
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 made youngsters cook more and more rarely. As a consequent decreasing number of teenagers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not capable of preparing themselves a meal.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 readymade
meals
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 are undoubtedly a time-saving option and guarantee
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to choose from a wide variety of
meals
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 on a daily basis, it is not without its drawbacks, including a poor standard of
food
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 and a disappearance of cooking ability among young
people
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.

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coherence cohesion
You provided a structured response, with a clear introduction and conclusion. It's evident that you understand how to develop an argument cohesively. Continue practicing using a range of linking words to enhance cohesion further.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your essay are supported by relevant explanations, but the use of more specific examples would strengthen your argument. Consider incorporating real-life case studies or referencing research to enhance credibility.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt directly and managed to cover both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task. Ensure that your essay remains focused on the topic throughout and expands on each point adequately.
task achievement
While you've communicated clear and comprehensive ideas, strive to delve even deeper into the subject matter for a more persuasive argument. Show a balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
task achievement
Use more concrete examples to solidify your points. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be replaced with more specific, detailed instances. This adds depth to your essay and helps the reader understand your point of view better.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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