Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#school #leavers #travel #work #year #university #practice

Nowadays, there are a number of

shcool

Correct your spelling

school

leavers who tend to get into

Remove the article

work

a job

show examples

work

and decide to travel. I think their attraction

for

Change preposition

show examples

work

beacause

Correct your spelling

because

of the financial issues they face, gaining skills and

on the other hand

the reason behind

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is bringing refreshment to their mind.

Moreover

, the essay explores the reason and the negative outcome of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities.

To begin

with, in

tems

Correct your spelling

terms

of forcing themselves to

work

, most of the

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

the reason is lack of money. There are so many students who cannot afford the

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fees of

university

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes them feel

doing

Change preposition

like doing

show examples

something

Change preposition

show examples

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

For example

, I used to do tutoring after I left my school. I used to teach 3 students so that I

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

earn

somthing

Correct your spelling

something

and I used to save them for my

university

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fee. I determined to do

this

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

things had been very tight at that time for my family, I just wanted to assist them by providing them with some money.

Furthermore

work

helps people to

aquire

Correct your spelling

acquire

experience and skills. When we do

work

, we get to learn a lot of things

due to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

new environment and that helps to enhance our skills that ensure our good career.

Secondly

, when we travel, we feel very good and refreshed inside. A fresh mind and good health aids to do anything in a proper manner.

Moreover

, they want to spend some quality

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with their friends or in nature before the new

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

so that they can be ready to handle the pressure of

university

. Anyways, when we think about the negative influence of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

practices, it really

creats

Correct your spelling

creates

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tension.

Work

and exploring

kills

Change the verb form

kill

show examples

lots of

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

and that can be a disadvantage for the students. If they

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a gap and spend their time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing these

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

instead

of starting

university

and

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

, they cannot cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with other

studends

Correct your spelling

students

later on.

For example

, as I mentioned about my

work

before going to the

university

, It

asserted

Verb problem

had

show examples

very bad effects on my studies.I had to go through a lot of

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

to catch up with the lectures and all.

To conclude

, though working and exploring brings us new adventure and experience and allows us to be skillful

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

it pushes us to face very bad

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

in consequences.

Submitted by niloyirtisam on Fri Jan 12 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay provides a recognized structure, but greater focus on transition phrases and coherent paragraphing would improve the logical flow.

Task Achievement

You present general ideas effectively, but fail to fully expand or illustrate these ideas with specific examples, which are often vague or insufficiently developed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

388 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Purchasing cars for the first time in developing countries has led to severe problems. Discuss the causes of this issue and propose potential solutions.

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year. What do you think of this trend?

People now spend more and more time at home than in the past. What are the reasons for this development and what its effects on people and society.