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Band 4.5

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
Nowadays,
coordination
 skills
plays
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play
show examples
vital
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a vital
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 role in everyone’s
life
 . It is considered by some individuals that
team
games
 are
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 excellent method to understand the importance of of cooperative ability for pupils.
This
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 would not only outline my argument but
also
, elaborate some illustrations in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, sports are the one of best
activity
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activities
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 which teaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters
abundance
Correct article usage
an abundance
show examples
 of skills . To be more specific, the first lesson of any
games
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game
show examples
 is
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
,
while
 playing sports the
leans
Verb problem
learners learn
show examples
 how to play in
team
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the team
a team
show examples
 and apply their strategies with
agreement
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the agreement
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 of others.
Moreover
, during the game
Add a comma
,
show examples
some situations come out where they learn
understanding
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to understand
show examples
 and
coordination
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coordinate
show examples
 with each other.
For example
, cricket , football or hockey are the
games
 where Hard to win the
games
 with cooperation , there should be good communication among
team
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teams
show examples
.
Furthermore
, learning cooperation is not only beneficial for
career
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my career
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even
Correct word choice
but even
show examples
 though,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
my personal
show examples
life
 . To
precise
Add a missing verb
be precise
show examples
 , if kids learn the ability of
coordination
Replace the word
coordinate
show examples
,
then
 they can easily do
work
 or balance their
life
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lives
show examples
 with their
near
Correct word choice
loved
show examples
 ones.
In addition
 , in professional
life
, one needs to
work
 with
team
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the team
a team
show examples
 and under their senior ,
therefore
 having
skill
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the skill
a skill
show examples
 of
team
 spirit and cooperation is essential . To illustrate,
Multi national
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Multinational
show examples
 companies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example of
grow
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growth
show examples
 in
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
,because employers
work
 with
others colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
other colleagues
show examples
 and do difficult assignments
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 only possible with
coordination
Correct article usage
the coordination
show examples
 of all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
 members. In conclusion, having
ability
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the ability
show examples
of working
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to work
show examples
 in
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
 is significant in
this
 present scenario . Playing sports teaches
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of skills to youngsters for their future
life
.
Submitted by Jatinderjass.jj on

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coherence cohesion
You should focus on developing a clear, logical structure within your essay, with distinct paragraphs that include topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that an introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly define the stance on the topic, providing an overview of the main points to be discussed and a succinct summary at the end.
coherence cohesion
Back up main points with more detailed support, such as specific examples or data, which enhances the clarity and impact of the argument.
task achievement
A complete response to the prompt is required, meaning you should diligently answer all parts of the question and stay relevant throughout the essay.
task achievement
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas by further elaborating on points and making arguments more nuanced.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens the persuasive power of your essay and shows an understanding of the topic in real-world contexts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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