The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?
Globalization
helps businesses and organizations to scale up on an international level. I agree that globalization
produces positive effects among people, but not for everyone. It has problems intrinsic to it, which need to be uncovered and must be tackled and resolved.
It has the potential to spread advanced technologies and innovations. Most countries are connected to each other around the world, so knowledge
transfers so quickly. The more speed the knowledge
transferred, the more productivity and innovations can be expected. It also
enables economic advancement. For example
, I can access whatever I want to learn, regardless of where I am living. This
can advance my knowledge
and enhance my ability to create new projects.
But
, Correct word choice
However
this
trend affects local businesses and organizations. They don’t have that much capacity in any aspect to beat the big business giants in competition. Increased competition and increased productivity also
result in psychological disturbances. Globalization
removes borders and identity and individualises people. It breaks down the sense of community and increases the sense of competition. Employees encounter anxiety and stress in the competitive spirit. Some well-established companies can create an artificial monopolistic market, where they are the sole producer of goods and services. Coca-Cola is one of the well-known examples of a monopoly.
In conclusion, though globalization
advances technologies and knowledge
widely, it still has negative effects, too. It benefits the multinational companies and employees who are under it. But, it problematizes the possibilities of local businesses. And, also
the employees who are striving to achieve face depression and stress.Submitted by rezaf.permadi on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure each paragraph clearly presents and develops one main idea. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, make sure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the main points are well-supported with detailed and relevant examples, as well as explanations that clearly show how they relate to the topic. Abstract arguments should be made tangible with specific, illustrative details.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the prompt by fully addressing all parts of the task. Present a balanced view if the question asks for an opinion, discussing both sides before reaching a conclusion, even if it is one-sided.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring the implications, comparisons, and consequences of the points made. Elaborate on how these points support your argument in relation to the prompt.
task achievement
Include specific examples to back up your arguments. These examples should be drawn from a range of sources and experiences to demonstrate a broad understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
