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Band 3

Some people think books are losing important as a source od information and entertainmnet. To what extent do you agree?

#people #books #source #od #information #entertainmnet
Have you ever wondered
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
world without
books
?
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some people argue that
books
 are losing their position as a
value
Change the verb form
valued
show examples
source
 of
information
 and
entertainmnet
Correct your spelling
entertainment
.
This
 essay
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will provide
a clear examples
Correct the article-noun agreement
a clear example
clear examples
show examples
 that as an
indivisual
Correct your spelling
individual
 I agree that
books
 lost
Its
Correct pronoun usage
Their
show examples
 core of
information
 and entertainment.
Books
 have always been our
source
 of
information
 over the past years.
Also
, without
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 we would not have been able to read nor get to explore the world around us. Over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time, they are losing their
interset
Correct your spelling
interest
show examples
 after the invention of the Internet. As It
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 less
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 even to the hand of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to use, since they can search or type any idea with one click
in
Change preposition
on
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 Google search.
As a result
, It became easier to surf the
information
 rather than look at it
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
,
books
 have been used as a core of
entertainmnet
Correct your spelling
entertainment
. In leisure time, children purchase them to have the pleasure of reading.
Unforunatly
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
, Its
source
 is fading away after the trend of reading from E-
books
 rather than traditional
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
In addition
, people nowadays
results
Verb problem
tend
show examples
 to be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 readers. That can be reponsible to
writters
Correct your spelling
writers
 to quit their jobs. As
this
 kind of
leiusre
Correct your spelling
leisure
 will not be
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 in near future. In conclusion, I clearly agree that
books
 are
diminsing
Correct your spelling
diminishing
 their fount of knowledge and
source
 of pleasure in free time.
Thus
, with the new technology and the use of artificial
intellegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 people will
extent
Replace the word
extend
show examples
 to use
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
books
.
Submitted by alfred on

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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but the extent of your agreement or disagreement is not developed fully nor exemplified sufficiently. Ensure your position is clearly stated throughout the essay and expanded upon with specific examples and sound reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear logical progression of ideas. Consider structuring your paragraphs to first introduce the concept, follow with supporting arguments, and conclude with an explanation of how the examples support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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