Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A faction of
people
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hold the notion that
Use synonyms
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
and crimes are positively correlated. I strongly agree
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this
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with this
show examples
veiw
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view
and
this
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essay will delve
in to
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into
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some possible reasons
of
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for
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this
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argument. First and foremost,
undoubtably
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undoubtedly
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,
lack
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the lack
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of necessary things like
food
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and shelter
fuel
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fuels
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to
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apply
show examples
crime
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.
In other words
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, many
a
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apply
show examples
people
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around the globe
has
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have
show examples
been in the clutches of
extreem
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extreme poverty
proverty
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, especially in developing countries.
Therfore
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Therefore
,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
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may commit
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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for their basic needs.
For example
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, after
civil
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the civil
a civil
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war in Sudan,
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crime
Add an article
the crime
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rate
is
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apply
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significantly increased for
food
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and water.
Moreover
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,
terrorist
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terrorists
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and fringe groups
tragets
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target
poor
people
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to increase their strength.
Due to
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proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
, these
people
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may not have a second thought to support them for
food
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or other basic needs.
Furthermore
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, the
people
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who
suffering
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suffer from
show examples
extreem
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extreme
poverty may not have basic education, ergo, these
people
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could
Verb problem
are
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not fully aware
about
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of
show examples
the intensity of their
crime
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.
For example
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, several African countries have child militants who do not have basic literature. On top of that, the police system might be corrupted
on
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in
show examples
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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countries which may
leads
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lead
show examples
to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
crime
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rates.
Besides
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, business communities or politicians may use them for their
propagandas
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propaganda
show examples
. To illustrate, African diamond mines are
maintaining
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maintained
show examples
using criminals in the local area. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
unavailability of
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
food
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and shelter eager to
crime
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which
utilize
Wrong verb form
is utilised
show examples
by terrorist organisations and fringe groups
are
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is
show examples
the most imperative reason for the increase
of
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in
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
. Lack of education and use them
business
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for business
show examples
and political
purpose
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purposes
show examples
are still fuel for
this
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. In my
view
Add a comma
view,
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Use synonyms
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
property
should be
erradicated
Correct your spelling
eradicated
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should set the stage for the argument and the conclusion should neatly wrap up the points made. In your essay, the introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more definitive in summarizing your stance and the key arguments.
Logical Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs with clear, logical steps. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Avoid introducing multiple new ideas within one paragraph. Furthermore, maintain a logical flow between paragraphs using cohesive devices, but be cautious not to overuse them.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. These examples should be relevant and convincingly linked to the point they support. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific instances that illustrate those statements. Including a broader range of examples can strengthen the believability of your argument.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task comprehensively. While your essay should contain an argument, it also needs to address the specific question posed 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?' Make sure to clearly state your level of agreement or disagreement with the given statement and substantiate your viewpoint throughout.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Develop your ideas fully to express a clear, comprehensive argument. Each idea should be expanded upon with explanations or examples to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic. Aim for depth in your argumentation, providing a nuanced perspective on the issue rather than a superficial one.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Include specific, relevant examples to back up your points. Be precise when referring to facts or situations that support your argument and try to draw on a wide range of examples, including personal, local, and global instances, as long as they reinforce your answer to the question.
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