Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
A faction of unavailability of
people
hold the notion that proverty
and crimes are positively correlated. I strongly agree Correct your spelling
poverty
this
Change preposition
with this
veiw
and Correct your spelling
view
this
essay will delve in to
some possible reasons Join the words
into
of
Change preposition
for
this
argument.
First and foremost, undoubtably
, Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
lack
of necessary things like Correct article usage
the lack
food
and shelter fuel
Correct subject-verb agreement
fuels
to
Change preposition
apply
crime
. In other words
, many a
Correct article usage
apply
people
around the globe has
been in the clutches ofChange the verb form
have
extreem
Correct your spelling
extreme poverty
proverty
, especially in developing countries. Therfore
, Correct your spelling
Therefore
this
Correct determiner usage
these
people
may commit crime
for their basic needs. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
For example
, after civil
war in Sudan, Add an article
the civil
a civil
crime
rate Add an article
the crime
is
significantly increased for Unnecessary verb
apply
food
and water. Moreover
, terrorist
and fringe groups Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
tragets
poor Correct your spelling
target
people
to increase their strength. Due to
proverty
, these Correct your spelling
poverty
people
may not have a second thought to support them for food
or other basic needs.
Furthermore
, the people
who suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer from
extreem
poverty may not have basic education, ergo, these Correct your spelling
extreme
people
could
not fully aware Verb problem
are
about
the intensity of their Change preposition
of
crime
. For example
, several African countries have child militants who do not have basic literature. On top of that, the police system might be corrupted on
Change preposition
in
this
countries which may Correct determiner usage
these
leads
to Change the verb form
lead
increase
the Correct article usage
an increase
crime
rates. Besides
, business communities or politicians may use them for their propagandas
. To illustrate, African diamond mines are Fix the agreement mistake
propaganda
maintaining
using criminals in the local area.
In conclusion,Wrong verb form
maintained
Correct article usage
the
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
food
and shelter eager to crime
which utilize
by terrorist organisations and fringe groups Wrong verb form
is utilised
are
the most imperative reason for the increase Correct subject-verb agreement
is
of
Change preposition
in
crime
. Lack of education and use them business
and political Change preposition
for business
purpose
are still fuel for Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
this
. In my view
Add a comma
view,
proverty
should be Correct your spelling
poverty
property
erradicated
by Correct your spelling
eradicated
the
development.Correct article usage
apply
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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should set the stage for the argument and the conclusion should neatly wrap up the points made. In your essay, the introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more definitive in summarizing your stance and the key arguments.
Logical Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs with clear, logical steps. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Avoid introducing multiple new ideas within one paragraph. Furthermore, maintain a logical flow between paragraphs using cohesive devices, but be cautious not to overuse them.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. These examples should be relevant and convincingly linked to the point they support. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific instances that illustrate those statements. Including a broader range of examples can strengthen the believability of your argument.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task comprehensively. While your essay should contain an argument, it also needs to address the specific question posed 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?' Make sure to clearly state your level of agreement or disagreement with the given statement and substantiate your viewpoint throughout.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Develop your ideas fully to express a clear, comprehensive argument. Each idea should be expanded upon with explanations or examples to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic. Aim for depth in your argumentation, providing a nuanced perspective on the issue rather than a superficial one.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Include specific, relevant examples to back up your points. Be precise when referring to facts or situations that support your argument and try to draw on a wide range of examples, including personal, local, and global instances, as long as they reinforce your answer to the question.