Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

The number of

people

is increasing nowadays.

this

essay will examine the factors that contribute towards the increasing trend and benefits that travelling offers. There are a lot of factors that contribute to the rise of travelling

people

Firstly

, technology

are

Change the verb form

show examples

upgrading nowadays, there are more and more startups that

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

web

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

applications for accommodation

reservation

Fix the agreement mistake

reservations

show examples

thus

making it more convenient because we can access them everywhere.

Also

, the

webs

Fix the agreement mistake

web

show examples

or applications

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

offers

Correct subject-verb agreement

offer

show examples

discount

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discounts

show examples

or deals that are worth

to buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

Furthermore

, there

are

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a lot of information

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show examples

the internet,

such

as food

recommendation

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recommendations

show examples

or destination

recommendation

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recommendations

show examples

, making it easier to make a travelling plan.

Moreover

, there are new transportation options that travellers can choose,

therefore

travelling can be accessible to every circle in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. Travelling

also

offers some advantages for the travellers.

Firstly

, it can be an opportunity to take a break from everyday

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

and

recharging

Wrong verb form

recharge

show examples

travellers’ energy,

thus

relieving their stress.

Also

, it

practices

Verb problem

encourages

show examples

them to live in the moment.

Secondly

, travelling can

also

exposed

Wrong verb form

expose

show examples

travellers’

with

Change preposition

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a lot of new perspectives.

In addition

, they will

also

meet new

people

, which both can help them to be more

open minded

Add a hyphen

open-minded

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Moreover

people

can make new unforgettable memories by trying local foods and cuisine and visiting famous tourist

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

. In conclusion, travelling offers various advantages

such

as boosting mental health, creativity, physical health, and socializing skills.

This

essay

also

provides the reason why the number of travelling

people

is increasing nowadays is because technology and transportation are developing, making it accessible and more convenient to travelling

Submitted by stacya.wijaya20 on Sun Jan 14 2024

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task achievement

The essay reflects some understanding of the given topic but there is lack of development in the ideas presented. The structure is there, but it needs better expansion and specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The logical sequence of information and paragraphs can be followed; however, it needs better linking words and phrases. Some paragraphs need a clearer main idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economy pricing
Cultural exchange
International business
Heritage sites
Cosmopolitan
Global citizen
Study abroad
Standard of living
Destination
Itinerary
Online bookings
Digital nomad
Bucket list
Sustainable travel
Eco-tourism

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Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people say that sports should not be encouraged in schools because they cause competition rather than cooperation among students. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this statement?

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than repair existing items. Why do you think this is? How can this trend be reversed?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will be no longer necessary because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree?