IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Due to
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 the rapid developments of sciences and
technology
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, we are currently living in the digital era.
Technology
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 has been embedded in our daily lives, as it has the ability to accommodate
to
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apply
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various kinds of one's needs. Surely,
this
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 includes our necessity to gain information about the world.
Thus
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, different kinds of digital newspapers and books emerge, making it much simpler for us to read nowadays.
However
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, I believe that despite its simplicity, old-school methods of reading
is
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are
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 still a must to exist. It is well-known that by simply using our devices, we now have easy access towards any
sorts
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sort
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 of information; To add
up
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apply
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to its benefits, most of the information
require
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requires
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 zero charge.
While
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this
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 modern-day method is redeemed as easy on today's generations, it is important for us to keep in mind that
this
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 world is really diverse. Up until now, there are still lots of groups of
people
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, especially the older generations, who are unable to understand the ways of
technology
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.
In addition
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, the number of
people
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 who
lives
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live
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 in poverty is still concerningly high. Those who live on extremely
low-income
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low income
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 do not have the privilege to buy new technologies.
Hence
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, the market of printed
newspaper
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newspapers
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 still exists. Judging by the way
this
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 world's development is still divided unfairly, with the rich
becomes
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becoming
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 richer whilst the poor
becomes
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become
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 poorer, it is very plausible that
this
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 issue of imbalance remains in the future.
Moreover
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, despite the simplicity of digital newspapers and books, there are definitely lots of
people
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 who
prefers
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prefer
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 reading in an old-school way, including me. I personally feel like there is a significant difference between the two platforms of reading. Though it may seem like a
no- brainer
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no-brainer
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 to choose the free digital option, I would rather read something on a printed media as it removes me from the danger of eye
damages
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damage
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due to
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 a
technology
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's screen
radiations
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radiation
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that in the years ahead of us, printed
newspaper
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newspapers
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 and
books
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book
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 buyers will remain as a thing. In spite of modern-day digitalization's simplicity, there are large groups of
people
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 who do not have the ability to purchase and/or utilize
such
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 advanced
technology
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.
Additionally
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, several
people
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 prefer printed outlets over digital ones.
Therefore
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, old-school methods of reading will still be relevant in the future.

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. However, make sure that the main body of the essay has a more consistent thread of argument that flows naturally from point to point. Try to use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Your response completes the task, offering a clear opinion on the issue. In order to enhance your score, be more thorough in developing your main points by providing more detailed examples and evidence. This will not only reinforce your arguments but will also show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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