Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. What is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative developmnet?

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Modern kids' smartphone addiction has been progressing over the

last

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ten years. Some people believe

this

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could be a problem for themselves and for the future of our world. It is agreed that mobile phone obsession is a negative trend.

This

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essay will shed some light on the issue and discuss several reasons for its occurrence.

To begin

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with,

according to

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a study conducted at the University of North Carolina, the main reasons for being absorbed by phones are the willingness to run away from reality and tons of addictive, easy-to-digest content.

For instance

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, the research showed us that modern offspring, the so-called Z generation, spend fifty-seven per cent more online compared to the previous generation. Children find watching videos on social platforms more engaging than hanging out with family and friends.

Moreover

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such

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activities prevent them from solving real-life problems and help them to escape routine. From my point of view, overconsumption of content can lead to severe problems and exert additional pressure on fragile connections between social groups.

For example

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, statistical data gathered in the

last

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decade shows two line graphs indicating stable trends. The former is the divorce rate in well-developed countries. The latter is the number of new kids in countries like the U.S., Germany, the UK and so forth. The Human Society laboratory at North Carolina Uni calculated the correlation between the two events, which is 0.87.

To sum up

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, over the

last

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ten years, even well-known universities throughout the world have noticed the trend and started to research it. Some of them found the connection between addictive content and social metrics. Even though the correlation is not causation, modern individuals must be wary and prevent their descendants from additional hazards.

8453525Mon Jan 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Task Response: Your essay addresses the topic and presents both why the trend is occurring and whether it's positive or negative. However, while you offer some personal viewpoint and research references, your arguments would benefit from clearer explanations and stronger connections to the question prompt. Focus on directly answering the 'why' of smartphone usage among children and providing more balanced discussion on its positive and negative aspects.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The structure of your essay is satisfactory, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother, with clearer topic sentences and better paragraphing. Using a wider range of linking words and clearer transitions would help improve the logical flow. Focus on paragraph unity and ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea, with examples directly supporting it.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. What is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative developmnet?

Your opinion

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

TOO MUCH EMPHASIS IS GIVEN FOR EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG . MORE GOVERNMENT MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT TO FREE TIME ACTIVITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?