Now a days celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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this

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modern generation, more famous figures are popular for their glamorous lifestyle compared to their careeristic achievements which has a detrimental effect towards society's young people. In my opinion,

this

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statement is true and

such

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perceptions need to be changed to foster a healthy society.

For instance

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, luxurious lifestyles, exotic car collections etc. getting more popular in social

media

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is changing societal values rapidly,

hence

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, teens are adopting

such

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notions as a proper way of

life

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. A proper example would be infamous actors or actresses who are promoting

such

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materialistic aspects of

life

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on social online platforms for their monetary benefits.

Such

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people gain enormous followers

due to

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these reasons. Teenagers get attracted to these individuals quickly and crave

such

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materials in their real lives.

Consequently

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due to

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these facts, the sheer difference between

reel

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real

show examples

life

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and real

life

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is extinguishing.

Moreover

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, a significant reason would be social

media

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norms which play a crucial role in these ramifications. Social

media

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made connecting with people all over the world easy,

hence

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, gaining

popularity

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is a nimble option. The influencers are using

such

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petty tactics to gain more

popularity

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without thinking of its detrimental effects.

Additionally

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, talented actors are left behind for lack of

popularity

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. Their talent is of no use in

this

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fast-paced world of materialism. Talents are getting replaced by materialism heavily. Various big business brands not only fashion-related but

also

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other things are investing in

such

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social

media

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influencers to promote their products

infront

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in front

of their fandoms.

Hence

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, Social

media

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influencers have become quite popular jobs rather than acting. In conclusion, materialism has gained more

popularity

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than talent ,

hence

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, affluent individuals are more prone to social

media

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than talent-based platforms.

As a consequence

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, these developments are harming societal norms heavily and changing societal structures. The young generation is affected more than adults, thence, fostering a divergence in society by broadening the gap between affluent and poor individuals.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Mon Jan 15 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the essay maintains a clear position throughout and provides a balanced argument by considering counterpoints or solutions.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that the subsequent sentences coherently support the main idea.

task achievement

Include specific, relevant examples to strengthen the argument. General statements are less effective than detailed, illustrative anecdotes or statistics.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by using a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, which will provide better flow and clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Now a days celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many FPTU students use their phones and laptops to play games during the English lessons. What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they want. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.