IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

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In our modern day and age, most neighbourhoods have lost their social bonds in which their
residents
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 do not know each other even on a first-name basis. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and propose a few solutions. Most
people
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 nowadays have a busy working schedule which minimises their social interactions or take part in community-related services or projects.
For example
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, in the past, on the weekends, most individuals would participate in an activity that brings the neighbourhood together
such
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 as charity events, garage sales or holiday BBQs. Having a demanding job has affected the lifestyle of most individuals and reduced their involvement in
such
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 activities.
Moreover
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, modern living districts have multiple residential apartments and skyscrapers which house more individuals and families compared to the suburbs which makes it more difficult to know the next-door
residents
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. By strengthening bonds between the
residents
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 of a community, it brings the community together which can be achieved by the application of simple solutions.
For instance
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, having a community centre where
people
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 can practice different group sports, have a book club or host different celebrations
such
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 as a national day or holidays will help connect the
residents
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 with each other and help maintain these relationships. In addition, the importance of building strong relationships with the next-door
residents
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 is seen in different cultures and traditions and following these customs can restore
this
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 relationship.
For example
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, in Islamic traditions, new
residents
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 should introduce themselves to the nearest seven neighbours to their house and most
residents
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 would see each other on a daily basis in the local mosque five times a day when they go to perform prayers. In conclusion,
while
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 modern life is demanding and stressful,
people
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 should invest more in social lives which is essential for a well-rounded and healthy life. Simple gestures can significantly change our interactions
such
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 as greeting
people
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 in the morning or hosting a dinner once a year.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a well-rounded discussion on why people don't know their neighbours and suggests practical solutions. You could enhance the clarity of your task response by slightly diversifying the examples provided and ensuring all points directly address the question.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses specific examples such as Islamic traditions and community centres to support the main points, enriching the essay with concrete detail.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and summarize key points, providing a cohesive structure that guides the reader through your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
What to do next:
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