In some of countries, the average weight of people is increasing, and their fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #fitness #levels #measures

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The general health of a sizeable chunk of the world population has seen a perpetual decline over the

last

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few decades. Issues

such

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as obesity, fatigue and other related ailments have become prevalent to an alarming extent.

Although

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several factors have led to

this

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occurrence becoming so widespread, the act of leading a poor lifestyle is a central cause

for

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show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomenon. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will delve deeper into the roots of

this

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predicament and suggest possible solutions to rectify these circumstances.

Firstly

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, we must acknowledge the inclination of the current generation towards unhealthy

food

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items. The advent of processed and fast

food

Use synonyms

although

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has raised the levels of convenience, especially in the lives of working-class people, it has

also

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skyrocketed the cases of disorders like excessive weight, heart conditions and high blood pressure.

Secondly

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, it is quite evident that presently, people enjoy a more lethargic manner of living

that is

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devoid of routine physical exercise.

Such

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tendencies are more extensive among the youth who relish staying indoors and spending time with digital appliances rather than engaging in outdoor activities. The amalgamated impact of

such

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detrimental traits is the reason behind the appalling condition of public health.

Nevertheless

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, some measures can be taken to improve the topical state of affairs. First and foremost, the significance of a vigorous lifestyle must be recognized. Physical education should be made a mandatory subject in the school curriculum so that robust habits like regular exercise and following a balanced diet are formed at an early age.

Furthermore

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, the frequency of consuming junk

food

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must be curbed by our own accord since it is impractical to expect large corporations and multinational

food

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chains to terminate their operations. In conclusion, the genesis of rising instances of overweightedness among

the

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apply

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people cannot be blamed on a single agent. The most sensible avenue that can be taken to ameliorate

this

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issue is to invest more time and effort towards our physical well-being.

Submitted by rohitbohara.xvi on Sun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While there is a coherent structure, some links between ideas could be clearer. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present with a clear thesis statement and summarization. Make sure the conclusion fully encapsulates all the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. While each paragraph has a central idea, expanding on these with more specificity will make arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task. The essay adequately covers the reasons for the problems but could be more thorough in suggesting a wider range of measures.

task achievement

Include a mix of general statements and specific, detailed ideas. Some paragraphs need more comprehensive development of ideas to fully satisfy the question's requirements.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant examples that directly support your points. While the essay hints at examples, using concrete and specific instances will enhance the task response considerably.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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In some of countries, the average weight of people is increasing, and their fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

NOWADAYS many people complain that they have difficulites getting enough sleep. what problems can lack of sleep cause? what can be done about lack of sleep?

Aircraft have been increasingly used for transport fruit and vegetable to some country where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.