Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research found that
bed-time
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bedtime
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reading
session
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sessions
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is
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are
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one of
a
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the
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crucial ways to bond with
the
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apply
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children
, especially during pre-teen age,
while
also
enhancing their cognitive
developments
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development
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.
However
, some people oppose
this
statement as they argue that
the
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apply
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children
can do it individually without
the
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their
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parents
' help and guidance.
This
essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the reason behind both arguments and why I side with the former. On one hand, when
children
are given the liberty to choose their leisure activities, namely watching TV, movies, or reading books, they tend to be more creative and decisive as they will seek the entertainment of their preferences.
For instance
, adolescents are more advanced when it comes to technology and trends, but they are hindered because their
parents
are unable to provide it.
As a result
, they prefer to explore any fun activities by themselves.
Nonetheless
,
parents
who are directly involved in the
children
's activity and actively read them books relatively have a stronger emotional link to their sons and daughters, which will be beneficial for their emotional intelligence development in the future.
For example
,
parents
will have the freedom to look closely at their toddler's behaviour when they spend time together to read books together.
Thus
, later
on
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on,
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the little ones will be able to convey their emotions and feel understood by their guardians, just because of
this small routines
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this small routine
these small routines
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of story-telling and quality time. In conclusion, the benefits of
children
's individual exploration have underwhelming impacts compared to the well-established emotional intelligence from
a
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apply
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direct parental guidance during
children
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children's
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leisure times.
Finally
,
parents
-
children
bonds from
a direct story-telling offsets
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a direct story-telling offset
direct story-telling offsets
show examples
the liberty of
children
to pick their own activity.
Submitted by pink panther on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay meticulously addresses all parts of the task. It appears that while you have discussed both views, your personal opinion could be more effectively integrated and referenced throughout the essay rather than just at the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on the smoothness of your paragraph transitions. While your essay is structurally sound, transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be improved by employing a wider range of cohesive devices and by better highlighting the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the essay maintains a formal register throughout. Avoid using colloquial expressions or informal language, which can detract from the academic tone expected in IELTS Writing Task 2.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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