Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #stories #children #books #tv #movies

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bed-time

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bedtime

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reading

session

Fix the agreement mistake

sessions

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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one of

Correct article usage

the

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crucial ways to bond with

the

Correct article usage

apply

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children

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, especially during pre-teen age,

while

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also

Linking Words

enhancing their cognitive

developments

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development

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However

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, some people oppose

this

Linking Words

statement as they argue that

the

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apply

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children

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can do it individually without

the

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their

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parents

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' help and guidance.

This

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essay will discuss

about

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apply

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the reason behind both arguments and why I side with the former. On one hand, when

children

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are given the liberty to choose their leisure activities, namely watching TV, movies, or reading books, they tend to be more creative and decisive as they will seek the entertainment of their preferences.

For instance

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, adolescents are more advanced when it comes to technology and trends, but they are hindered because their

parents

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are unable to provide it.

As a result

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, they prefer to explore any fun activities by themselves.

Nonetheless

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parents

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who are directly involved in the

children

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's activity and actively read them books relatively have a stronger emotional link to their sons and daughters, which will be beneficial for their emotional intelligence development in the future.

For example

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parents

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will have the freedom to look closely at their toddler's behaviour when they spend time together to read books together.

Thus

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, later

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on,

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the little ones will be able to convey their emotions and feel understood by their guardians, just because of

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this small routines

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this small routine

these small routines

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of story-telling and quality time. In conclusion, the benefits of

children

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's individual exploration have underwhelming impacts compared to the well-established emotional intelligence from

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direct parental guidance during

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children

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children's

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leisure times.

Finally

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parents

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children

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bonds from

a direct story-telling offsets

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a direct story-telling offset

direct story-telling offsets

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the liberty of

children

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to pick their own activity.

Submitted by pink panther on Tue Jan 16 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay meticulously addresses all parts of the task. It appears that while you have discussed both views, your personal opinion could be more effectively integrated and referenced throughout the essay rather than just at the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Work on the smoothness of your paragraph transitions. While your essay is structurally sound, transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be improved by employing a wider range of cohesive devices and by better highlighting the relationships between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that the essay maintains a formal register throughout. Avoid using colloquial expressions or informal language, which can detract from the academic tone expected in IELTS Writing Task 2.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Storytelling
Linguistic skills
Bonding
Cultural values
Pronunciation
Comprehension
Literacy habits
Visually inclined
Vivid imagery
Educational programs
Digital formats
Autonomy
Critical thinking
Interpret and engage

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Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.