Some people say that the extended family is not as important now as it once was. Others think that its worth has not changed because people always need help from their family members. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is sometimes argued that the extended family is not as crucial as it used to be.

While

this

could be true to a certain extent, I believe that the essence of our family members is undeniable. It is a fact that for many, living in an extended family is inconvenient and uncomfortable. Research has shown that in an extended family, your personal business is a family business. They always need permission not only from their parents but

also

from their grandparents. If they have to do that many times, they will feel that they do not have their private in their own house.

Moreover

, sometimes they will be compared with their siblings or cousins. Either their studying or working will be the topic to be complained about. Day by day they may get under pressure.

Nevertheless

, I support the idea that family is vital for everyone.

Firstly

, if we have healthy, stable family members, they can be a great resource for us.

For example

, it makes our adolescence easier since we receive assistance and well-educated from our family.

Secondly

, the dining culture in the extended family is common. When we sit together at the table it is a way to help the family gather around and share their story after a long day of working and studying.

Lastly

, with the children when they grow up in a big family they can learn to socialize with all ages.

For example

, when they interact with many others from an early age, they are able to interact with all personality types and can stand on their own two feet in any social setting. They are likely to interact with many different classes of society, so they are less afraid and more confident in speaking to people.

To sum up

while

it is apparent that the extended family is unnecessary as it was through some inconvenient and uncomfortable reasons, it is undeniable that the needs of extended family to everyone.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Thu Jan 18 2024

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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