Some people say that the extended family is not as important now as it once was. Others think that its worth has not changed because people always need help from their family members. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is sometimes argued that the extended family is not as crucial as it used to be.
While
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this
could be true to a certain extent, I believe that the essence of our family members is undeniable.
It is a fact that for many, living in an extended family is inconvenient and uncomfortable. Research has shown that in an extended family, your personal business is a family business. They always need permission not only from their parents but Linking Words
also
from their grandparents. If they have to do that many times, they will feel that they do not have their private in their own house. Linking Words
Moreover
, sometimes they will be compared with their siblings or cousins. Either their studying or working will be the topic to be complained about. Day by day they may get under pressure.
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Nevertheless
, I support the idea that family is vital for everyone. Linking Words
Firstly
, if we have healthy, stable family members, they can be a great resource for us. Linking Words
For example
, it makes our adolescence easier since we receive assistance and well-educated from our family. Linking Words
Secondly
, the dining culture in the extended family is common. When we sit together at the table it is a way to help the family gather around and share their story after a long day of working and studying. Linking Words
Lastly
, with the children when they grow up in a big family they can learn to socialize with all ages. Linking Words
For example
, when they interact with many others from an early age, they are able to interact with all personality types and can stand on their own two feet in any social setting. They are likely to interact with many different classes of society, so they are less afraid and more confident in speaking to people.
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To sum up
, Linking Words
while
it is apparent that the extended family is unnecessary as it was through some inconvenient and uncomfortable reasons, it is undeniable that the needs of extended family to everyone.Linking Words
Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, therefore, additionally) to link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Expand your essay by offering more detailed examples and explanations to support your points, and make sure that each point is fully developed before moving on to the next.