The role of parents and family, in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The idea of becoming successful because of the guardian’s upbringing has more importance than getting
education
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an education
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from institutions. I strongly agree with the statement and equally believe that the influence of elders over
kids
leave
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leaves
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more impact on their life rather than school or college. In forthcoming paragraphs, I am going to elaborate
it
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on it
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in detail,
while
giving solid reasons to support my points of view.
Best
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The best
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place to start early
education
is considered to be
home
.
Parents
put a lot of effort on their children, so that they can teach them basic
etiquettes
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etiquette
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or manners about how to behave with anyone outside.
In addition
to
this
,
mostly
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most
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mothers take the responsibility of educating their
kids
from an early age
,
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apply
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while
doing other household work.
For instance
, in a country like Pakistan
parents
prefer to educate toddlers on their own at
home
instead
of sending them to
day care
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daycare
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centres.
As a result
, they tend to be more mature by showing a good attitude towards others. Achieving good grades and fabulous opportunities can
also
be considered a positive point, provided that
above
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the above
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practice becomes the norm among caretakers. Learning knowledge at
such
an early stage benefits them
with
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by
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performing well in schools resulting in getting admission
in
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to
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top colleges
of
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in
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developed countries in future. One illustration of
this
is in developing countries like Pakistan moving abroad for better
education
is a common exercise among students. They have to study hard in order to get more information so they can do well in exams and
accomplish
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achieve
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a high percentage.
Furthermore
,
kids
whose
education
starts from an early age at
home
by their
parents
easily fulfil
this
dream as compared to others.
On the contrary
, skills and other sets of knowledge can be learned in later parts of life. If someone wants to secure a proper job when they get older, they will have to be an expert in some specific field.
However
, many academies and tuitions these days are providing service to individuals, so they can master
such
areas of study.
On the other hand
,
person
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people
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can
also
learn about it in companies as well. Many big organizations are organizing workshops to polish
youngsters
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youngsters'
youngster's
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analytical thinking and make them ready for the coming days.
To conclude
, learning knowledge from
parents
at
home
is more important than whatever they attain at school. From my perspective, studying at early centres is mandatory for everyone,
whereas
no one can leave a better impression on
kids
than their
parents
.
Because
Correct word choice
Parents
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parents
develop the base of their
kids
from
early
Correct article usage
an early
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ages
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age
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and guide them about basic manners
as well as
communication skills.
However
, other things can be learned
on
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in
show examples
later stages as well.
Submitted by araibbutt93 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Develop paragraphs sufficiently with specific examples, with each paragraph focusing on one main idea. Ensure that examples are directly related to the question prompt, and provide clearer links between the role of parents and future success.
Task Response
While the position on the issue is clear, ensure that you address the full scope of the essay prompt by acknowledging the role of school education. Provide more analysis and comparison between the roles of family and school in shaping success.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical flow of ideas, use a range of cohesive devices more effectively, such as linking words, synonyms, and pronouns, to ensure the essay progresses smoothly from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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