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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #be #case
Today many people choose to
work
 for themselves rather than for others.
This
 can be caused by various reasons, but the main one is
due to
 the fact that many companies offer a poor
work
 balance between private and professional life.
Nevertheless
,
such
 a choice can present possible disadvantages.
Firstly
, people who are doing a corporate job often find it difficult to balance between their
work
 and personal life. In the past, when competition was only within a country, most jobs required a minimum of 8 hours a day.
However
, now a lot of employers oblige their workers with additional
work
 owing to the rising competition in the global market. The second cause that might be noted, in my view, is the framework of an average job, where repetitive
work
 is encouraged restricting individuality and it can be a problem for some people.
Nevertheless
,
such
 choices can lead to many problems and expectations do not usually tackle with a reality. The main problem with self-employment is the
work
 is not available mostly and there can be ups and downs in pay, in comparison with a corporate job.
As a result
, most of them give up after a month.
Additionally
, a lot of these so-called adventurers make
such
 a decision inconsiderately without a safety net for presumable negative outcomes.
Hence
, when they encounter the real market, they find it hard to get fair pay for their
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
.
To conclude
,
although
such
 decisions can have a positive outcome in the long term,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
this
 is only possible after thorough consideration and planning.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to enhance clarity by starting with a strong thesis in the introduction which clearly outlines what you will discuss in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Provide a logical structure to your ideas and present them in organized paragraphs. Use cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points fully. Support each idea with specific examples or explanations and try to provide a more in-depth analysis.
Task Achievement
To address the task fully, ensure that you provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the prompt. Include both reasons for the rise in self-employment and its disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide clear and comprehensive responses to all parts of the prompt. Integrate relevant examples to strengthen your argument and to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Avoid vague statements and abstract ideas without concrete evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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