In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thinks this is a positive or negative situation.

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In some countries, there is a viewpoint that owning a
home
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is more important than renting one. I think the reason causing
this
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situation
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related
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is related
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to many aspects,
such
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as the national
culture
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and policy.
Although
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I think owning a
home
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has advantages in many ways, I still hold a negative attitude towards
this
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situation
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because of the economic and social pressure
this
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viewpoint has been leading. One of the reasons why
people
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regarding buying a
home
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is important is
culture
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. China is a very typical example. In
the
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apply
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history, a grand house is a presentation of status and wealth for individuals, and as the clan conception has been rooted deeply in
this
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country in long term history,
people
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tend to have a solid
residential
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residence
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for their potential growing family. Even today, many Chinese choose what is beneficial for a traditional family as a priority.
And
Correct word choice
Culture
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culture
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influences how
the
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apply
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society criticizes a person,
therefore
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, there is a part of young citizens buying a
home
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to run away from the pressure from
the
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apply
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society and their relatives.And another reason
of
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for
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this
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situation
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is the policy of a nation.The
society
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society's
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lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
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enough welfare would cause citizens’ insecurity. There are many
people
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who believe that homeownership is the main source of security in China. If you own a
home
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, you have a stable shelter, a renting
home
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is not reliable. The reasons above have
a
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had a
show examples
negative impact on China these years. The passion of
people
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buying
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home
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a home
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increases the price of a
home
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. The high expenditure on buying a
home
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lowers the quality of
people
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’s lives, and many of them have to work overtime to repay the debt. These can seriously harm citizen’s mental and physical health. In general, more
people
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prefer owning a
home
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influenced by the
culture
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and welfare policy of the country, and
this
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situation
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is not a good sign because there are many negative effects
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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been brought out.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical sequence. Use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Provide a more comprehensive introduction to the topic that clearly outlines your essay's structure and argument. Conclude your essay effectively by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
complete response
Fully develop your response to all parts of the task. Make sure you address why home ownership might be important and discuss its positive and negative aspects. Provide a balanced view if possible.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively to avoid ambiguity. Use specific details and examples to articulate your points for greater clarity.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant examples to support your arguments. Ensure that your examples are specific and clearly linked to your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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