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Band 6.5

Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Beginning formal education is a milestone in
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children
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’s lives. It is often argued that
teachers
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 play a more important role in developing intellectual and social
skills
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 in school-age
children
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 attitude.
Teachers
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 are specifically trained to improve communication and mental
skills
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 in students. These qualified
teachers
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 can recognize
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children
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’s weaknesses and address them by taking suitable measures.
For instance
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, giving presentations in class and doing group activities assist shy students to improve their self-confidence.
Similarly
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, debating about controversial topics
as well as
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 doing math and intelligence tests, implement analytical thinking in
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children
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’s minds. Ultimately,
such
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 a structured approach compels
children
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 to value their
teachers
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’ opinions more than
the
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apply
show examples
others.
Conversely
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, some might argue that
parents
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 maintain their dominant influence on developing these
skills
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 in
children
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.They may think that telling bedtime stories about communication and doing puzzles, are all
children
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 need.
Furthermore
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, they may emphasize prolonged hours that
children
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 spend at home with their
parents
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, as an opportunity to enhance these
skills
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. Admittedly, I acknowledge the valued points of
this
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 argument and highlight the
parents
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’ complementary role. Still, I believe that
children
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 are more influenced by
teachers
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. Not only can
parents
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’ stories and games be boring, but they might
also
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 work ineffectively.
Additionally
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, many busy
parents
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 do not spend much time with their
children
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 at home. Even worse is that some
parents
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 might apply corporal punishment when they face
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children
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’s mistakes.
Conversely
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, since instructors have profound insight into individual differences, they can understand
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children
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’s limitations, ignoring minor mistakes to bring out the best in them. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
teachers
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 have a greater influence on school
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children
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’s social and intellectual
skills
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,
due to
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 their academic knowledge and appropriate tactics.
Parents
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, but play a complementary role.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that pertains to the overall argument of the essay. Some points require further development to support your stance fully.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a logical sequence of ideas throughout the essay. Try to avoid jumping between advantages and drawbacks without clear connection or transition.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, as well as to organize the argument more clearly.
Task Achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your points. The use of specific details or real-world situations will help to solidify your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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