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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that globalization has a negative effect on national cultures. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh the disadvantages?

Globalisation
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important aspects of modern life , and it has connected
people
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 around the world in several ways.
While
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 some argue that it has a negative impact on national cultures, I believe
globalisation
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 offers significant benefits , particularly in terms of cultural diversity and economic development, which far outweigh its drawbacks. One major benefit of
globalisation
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 is the exchange of cultural ideas.
People
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 now have access to international films, food, music, and technology , which helps them to explore new ideas and keep an open mind about the world.
For instance
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,
globalisation
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 has contributed to the development of new technologies like smartphones and AI. By using
such
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 technologies,
people
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 can improve their knowledge and skills rapidly.
Furthermore
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, Korean food has become increasingly popular worldwide.
This
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 exposure encourages
people
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 to try new recipes and learn more about other cultures. Another advantage is that
globalisation
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 strongly influences the economy, which in turn supports cultural development. As countries engage in international trade, they generate more wealth.
This
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 extra income can be invested in supporting local artists.
For example
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, if artists receive adequate support, they can promote the country on an international level.
Thus
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, many
people
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 may become interested in the history and culture of that country. Admittedly,
globalisation
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 can weaken local cultures, as
people
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 often replace their traditional customs with global trends.
For instance
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, young
people
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 often prefer to wear modern clothes,
while
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 the older generation is connected with conventional clothing.
This
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 can lead to disagreements between the younger and older generations.
However
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,
this
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 effect is not universal, as many fashion companies have started to invest in traditional clothing. In conclusion,
although
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globalisation
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 may pose certain risks to traditional culture, its advantages,
such
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 as cultural exchange through technology and economic support for local artists, are far more significant.
Therefore
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, I believe
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
show examples
 has a positive
overall
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 effect on culture.

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content
Add a fuller view of both sides with more real facts and proof.
language
Use simple linking words to show how ideas are tied and why.
content
Give more strong and clear examples for each idea.
language
Keep short, easy words and short sentences to help the reader see the plan.
content
Your view is clear that the good side of global links is strong.
structure
You use good links to move from one idea to the next.
content
You give real examples like tech and food to show ideas.
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