The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a conviction that rising social media usage has impacted society and relationships. Despite preventing
people
from the community, this
development also
enriches people
's contact and supports national employment.
The most beneficial aspect is that the popularization of social media aids residents' contact. To comprehend this
tool, it
provides a continuous connection between each other via a virtual environment, which is rated fast and reliable. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a result
, communication has become more straightforward and convenient in ordinary life compared to previous decades. Monitoring Facebook as an example, the "people
you may know" section on this
app often proposes people
with limited contact with account owners add friends, encouraging overall
social relativeness.
Another key feature is a dedication to the occupation industry. At this
point, an increasing number of inhabitants can find a job
remotely, significantly boosting national recruitment. Consequently
, unemployment and a rise in the federal gross will be eliminated constantly. They are taking Vietnam as evidence, where a recent survey has shown an increase of 35% in online job
finding. With this
statement, Vietnam has saved a fortune by ignoring visible job
searching.
However
, personal isolation from the public should be mentioned as the topmost problem. In detail, the Internet community has triggered addiction in youngsters, which has endangered juvenile generations. Fortunately, those tech-saviors can avoid the downside by manipulating gadget time spending. Afterward
, the depression will be vague, and relationship expansion can dominate the disadvantage.
Change the spelling
Afterwards
To conclude
, unsociability caused by social platforms is outweighed by the opportunity to enrich personal relationships and job
industry contribution. Hence
, logical social media usage is necessary for worldwide residents.Submitted by 11E4 Community on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points that you will discuss in your essay. In the body paragraphs, use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas and to help the essay flow more smoothly. While the essay has some structure, greater use of cohesive devices would enhance the readability and organization of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with more elaborate explanations, illustrations, or examples. Although examples are provided, diving deeper into them and connecting them back to the thesis will strengthen the argument and increase the score for supported main points.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. While the essay discusses advantages and a disadvantage, it could provide a more balanced discussion by including more disadvantages to substantiate the position taken.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in expressing ideas. Aim to develop comprehensive arguments with supportive details. This essay reflects a clear stance but can benefit from more fleshed-out ideas to provide a thorough analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Include specific, relevant examples that effectively support the main ideas. The examples given could be more detailed to better support the arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic, which would help increase the score for relevant specific examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.