IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Technology has brought many benefits to people, however, some elderly have difficult using technology. What are the possible benefits of technology for the elderly population and how can they be encouraged to use it. Give answers and explainations to support your opion.

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern world,
technology
Use synonyms
 has a significant impact on every individual’s life including senior ones. So they can benefit from telecommunication services to keep in touch with their relatives.
Moreover
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, various
applications
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 can facilitate their daily tasks. To commence with, elderlies need to communicate with their friends and families to reduce their isolation feelings.Some remote communication tools including Skype and What’s Up
applications
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 can assist them to connect them easily and effectively to their family members.
For instance
Linking Words
, my parents can interact with my siblings who are living abroad on a daily basis. Comparing
this
Linking Words
 level of communication with
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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in
Change preposition
apply
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just two decades ago can convince everyone that
technology
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 is very practical and valuable. To continue with, Dealing with different phone
applications
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 can make senior citizens’ lives more convenient and easier. To illustrate more, different mobile
applications
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such
Linking Words
 as
e-bank
Fix the agreement mistake
e-banks
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 could help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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manage their financial tasks remotely.
Consequently
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, they don’t need to leave their home frequently.
Another
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Other
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 impactful examples are online shopping and telemedicine services. To illustrate more, my mother’s doctor not only can manage her diabetes remotely but
also
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 he can monitor my mother’s sugar level once daily and provide his input on that
,
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apply
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 since the Glucose monitoring device is synchronized with his mobile phone. Needless to mention, he can
also
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 administer my mother’s required medicines by e-prescription. Looking at
this
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 communication cycle between
health care
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healthcare
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 professionals and patients can portray the significance of
technology
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 in
elderly’s
Correct article usage
the elderly’s
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 lives. In a nutshell, If old people increase their digital literacy , they could take advantage of
technology
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 in their lives
such
Linking Words
 as telecommunication or telemedicine.

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coherence cohesion
While the structure of the essay is logical, ensure the introduction explicitly mentions the benefits and the encouragement of technology use among the elderly, to fully address the task.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly elaborate on how the elderly can be encouraged to use technology, perhaps including suggestions for training or user-friendly interfaces.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the variety of cohesive devices and linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant and specific examples which strongly support your main points, making your arguments convincing.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, showcasing a good understanding of the topic's requirements.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telemedicine
  • real-time health data
  • videoconferencing
  • social isolation
  • digital literacy
  • user-friendly
  • online banking
  • streaming services
  • e-books
  • telehealth
  • wearable health devices
  • remote consultations
  • accessibility features
  • mental stimulation
  • inclusive technology
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