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Writing Samples /
Band 7

University students must pay all costs associated with their education, because it benefits mostly them individually rather than the whole society as whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#university #students #costs #education #society
It is often thought that college students must pay all costs associated with their education. Some people think
this
 is because it benefits the individual rather than the whole society. In my opinion, I agree with
such
 statements as there are a lot of benefits if individuals pay for their own
study
 needs.
In addition
, paying their own cost will prepare them the mentality for their next step in life. First of all, a college student is one step closer to being an independent man of their own. After they graduate, they will have to face the reality of paying their own expenses, making their own profits and setting a life their own way.
Hence
, if they are not aware of these kinds of things since they were a student, the risk of them failing after graduating will be higher.
According to
 research done by Scholars back in 2020, it was observed that almost 80% of students who pay their own
study
 expenses take a year faster to get their first job compared to those who do not pay on their own.
This
 is mainly because they already have the mentality to
work
 in professional settings. Second of all, paying costs associated with their own needs teaches them the importance of earning through their own hard
work
.
This
 can prepare them when they cannot achieve things as easily as they might look.
This
 argument is supported by a
study
 done by researchers at the University of Indonesia back in the 1950s. In the
study
, it was noticed that students who learn to
work
 and pay for their own needs at a young age tend to have a higher level of perseverance compared to those who do not. In conclusion, I agree with the view that college student should pay their own education cost since undergraduates should learn the importance of being independent and hard
work
. Without any of that knowledge prepared, it will be hard for them to get through life.
Submitted by helma.devina on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument to some degree. While your opinion is clear, for a higher score, you need to acknowledge the opposing viewpoint and explain why you have come to your conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop the main points further with more detailed examples and explanations. Use specific data or anecdotal evidence to make your argument more compelling and complete.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate clear relationships between ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to have a more balanced structure, ensuring both the introduction and conclusion are equally strong and fully restate the thesis and main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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